


I Still Press Your Letters To My Lips

by JGoose13



Category: Logan Lucky (2017), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Amputation, Depression, Epistolary, F/M, Military, PL Exchange, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Soul Bond, Soulmarks, Soulmates, epistolary fic, letter writing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-05
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:21:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 35,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23022397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JGoose13/pseuds/JGoose13
Summary: Clyde Logan enlists in the Army and upon his first tour in Iraq, receives a pen pal letter from a young college student named Rey Niima. Rey's letters keep Clyde company throughout his first deployment, and the second.Then the unthinkable happens: Clyde falls victim to an IED attack and loses more than just part of his arm: he loses a part of himself. Faced with having to rebuild his life and assimilate back into society, Clyde does what he can to move on after he's come to grips with the fact that he'll never know his soulmate.But then a chance meeting puts Rey in Clyde's path, right in his hometown of Boone County, West Virginia...
Relationships: Clyde Logan/Rey (Star Wars)
Comments: 67
Kudos: 318
Collections: The Perfect Date - Pink Ladies Spring Exchange





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MyJediLife](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyJediLife/gifts).



> This fic is for MyJediLife for the Pink Ladies server Perfect Date Exchange. I've got about 4 chapters planned so far. Hope you like it, Heathyr! 
> 
> I'm throwing in this moodboard I made too:

_ I still press your letters to my lips _

_ And cherish them in parts of me that savor every kiss _

_ I couldn't face a life without your lights _

_ But all of that was ripped apart when you refused to fight _

“Snuff” by Slipknot

  
  


_ Camp Victory; Baghdad, Iraq - 2015 _

The first thing Clyde Logan noticed when he regained consciousness was that his entire left arm was on fire. Like someone was stabbing him with hot pins. 

Whiskey brown eyes fluttered open, the dim lighting of the Army field hospital blinding him momentarily. His gaze was bleary, but it quickly cleared, focusing on the drab ceiling tiles that had seen better days. Clyde could barely move, his skull filled with cotton, his limbs weighted down with lead, his entire body in searing pain. He barely managed, but he lifted his head, gaze taking stock of his body.

The second thing he realized once consciousness had been restored was that his entire arm  _ couldn’t _ possibly be on fire. Because the lower half of his left arm was…  _ gone _ . 

It didn’t compute, at first. He could  _ fucking feel it _ . It was  _ still there _ , it had to be. This was a sick joke, played by some chuckle fucks in his platoon. 

His head thrashed side to side, desperately trying to make sense of this, of what had happened. He couldn’t remember shit, and all he could see now were white curtains and the damn off-white ceiling. It was jarring, disorienting, and his panic didn’t help.

The curtains whooshed aside, revealing a nurse and a doctor, both wearing their BDUs. 

“Good, you’re awake,” the doctor greeted, trying his best to be as warm and friendly as possible. Normally, bedside manner was the last thing on any doctor or nurses mind while in a combat zone. It didn’t do shit to calm Clyde, not his blood pressure, not his racing mind, nothing. 

“What… what happened, sir?” Clyde asked, because even in the throes of dread he didn’t forget his Army training. 

“You don’t remember anything, Corporal Logan?” The doctor asked, pulling over a rickety stool on wheels. He sat heavily, rolling closer to Clyde’s bedside. 

“No.” His throat worked, trying to swallow despite the fact it was as dry as the damn desert around them. The nurse moved, pouring some fresh water from a plastic pitcher into a paper cup. He popped a bendy straw in, and brought it close to Clyde’s lips. He sipped greedily, before the nurse warned him against taking too much. 

“Your unit... “ The doctor, Major Broderick, began. At the look in the major’s eyes, Clyde’s heart leapt. Pity. Sadness. Like the doc had seen too much of this in his career. “Your unit got hit with an IED, Corporal. You and a few others survived. Everyone else… I’m sorry.”

Tears rolled, unbidden, down Clyde’s cheeks.  _ Dead _ . Most of his unit was  _ dead _ . But  _ he  _ had survived. Why did  _ he _ live, and not the others?

But the good major wasn’t done delivering the bad news.

“You… you got caught in the blast, Corporal. Your left side was severely mangled. We did all we could to save your arm, but… but I’m sorry to say I had to amputate the lower half.” 

Not a sick joke then, but Clyde’s new harsh reality. When he first awoke, he’d been able to feel every bit of trauma to his body. Now though, now he felt numb, completely devoid of all thought or emotion. 

Clyde swallowed thickly.

The major continued, but Clyde could barely comprehend. The doctor’s voice seemed far away, as though on the other side of a tunnel. Major Broderick explained that he was stable enough to be transferred to Landstuhl Regional Medical Center in Germany where he would spend the rest of his recovery, and then months of physical therapy back in the States, learning to use a prosthesis, if he desired. 

Too much. Too much all at once. He’d been one of the few survivors of an IED explosion, on his way to the fucking airfield to go home. He’d been mere hours away from stepping back on American soil, tasting sweet air that didn’t include dust and sand. 

The fucking Logan Curse. It was  _ real _ . And Jimmy could kiss his ass if he kept denying the truth of it.

The doctor and nurse made their leave, letting Clyde rest after dropping such life altering news. Clyde wasn’t sure how long he laid there, slowly coming to grips with the new status quo. 

Later, when the hospital went lights out for the night and Clyde lay awake, unable to sleep, he realized another devastating truth: his soulmark -- the one thing connecting him to potential life long happiness and love in this shitty world -- had been blown off with his arm. Even more gut wrenching was that no matter how hard Clyde wracked his brain, searching for the memory, he couldn’t remember the words the mark had formed.

~*~

_ New York, New York - 2013 _

“Hey, girl, hey!”

Attention pulled away from her beat up Dell laptop, Rey Niima smiled at the body that had just plopped itself down in the neighboring chair: one of her best friends in the world, Rose Tico.

“Hey! How was the meeting?”

Rey and Rose were in their junior year at New York University. They met freshman year at a meet-and-greet the engineering school had organized. Now, they were practically inseparable and had been roommates since sophomore year. Rose was the secretary of their chapter of Tau Beta Pi, the engineering honor society, of which they were members. Rey hadn’t attended the meeting that evening, opting to bury her nose in her notes and study for her midterms. Papers, textbooks, pens, and pencils were scattered around her, a disorganized mess, yet she could put her hand on anything specific if the need arose. Several empty paper coffee cups lined up like the frontline of a battalion, all having completed their duty for queen and country.

“It was great! Well, the usual, you know? Lots of off-topic conversation, and then Hux was being a douchebag--”

“That’s your boyfriend you’re talking about.”

“Oh I know! Which is why I’m allowed to say things like that.” 

Rey laughed. 

“Anyway,” Rose continued, dragging out the syllables. “We decided for our service project to sign up to be pen pals with a unit that’s about to deploy to Iraq. There’s a non-profit organization based right here in New York that can set it up for us. I’m going to send out an email for sign ups tonight. I took the liberty of writing your name down already.”

Rey snorted. “Of course you did. But I’d be happy to.”

“Fantastic!” Rose thumped the table, causing one of the empty soldiers to fall over. “I think it’ll be fun. No one ever gets snail mail anymore, ya know? And if it’ll keep morale up for our boys overseas then it’s a noble cause, right?”

Rey nodded, jotting down a note on a problem she’d been working on for the past hour. “Definitely.” 

A few weeks later, Letters from Home, the non-profit organization Tau Beta Pi had partnered with, did a presentation explaining the pen pal process. At first, Rey felt that this was just a duty to Tau Beta Pi, but by the end of the presentation, when she had a soldier’s name and address in hand, she couldn’t ignore the excitement. 

“Who’d you get?” Rose asked after the meeting had adjourned.

“‘Clyde Logan’,” Rey replied. “He’ll be in Iraq. Camp Victory.” 

“Oooo, exciting, I got a dude named Finn Storm.”

“I’m too impatient for letters,” Armitage Hux grumbled, appearing beside Rose. He put his arm around her shoulders, tugging her against his tall, lanky frame. He was Irish, and had come to NYU on a scholarship, just as Rey had. Though Hux could be a bit gruff and obtuse, Rey felt a kindred spirit in the red head. 

“It’s a good thing then, if you both agree, you can do email instead,” Rose supplied. “Who’d you get?”

“‘Poe Dameron’,” Hux read.

They discussed their pen pals for another couple of minutes, before Rose asked: “Hey Rey, Hux and I are going to that Cajun place that just opened up a few blocks over. Wanna come?”

“No, thank you,” Rey shook her head. “I’ll just head back to the dorm. Still have studying to do.”

“Rey, you gotta live a little. You can’t just stay buried in your books. You’ve gotta get out there, or you’ll never find them!” Rose motioned to Rey’s left arm.

In bed that night, the dorm room empty because Rose was out with Hux, Rey contemplated her friend’s words. Sighing, she turned over to flip off the lamp, plunging the room into darkness except for the faint light of the outside street lamps. Sounds of cars, car horns, and sirens trickled in through the open window, allowed in by a nice, chilled breeze. 

Rey rubbed her right hand against her left wrist absently, idly tracing her soulmark. 

Historians have never been able to pinpoint the first recorded appearance of soulmarks. As far as research showed, they’ve been around since the beginning of time. On the other side of things, scientists have never been able to identify their origins or how they appear. Soulmarks manifest on the left wrist or forearm sometime during puberty, and consist of the first words your soulmate will speak to you. 

Growing up, Rey believed she’d never receive a mark. It’s something the nuns in the orphanage had beat into her mind, that she wasn’t worthy of a soulmate, because she’d been discarded by her parents, who were supposed to love her the most. It wasn’t uncommon for a mark to never appear. Rey had never gotten confirmation, because the nuns were always covered head to toe in their habits, but she would bet none of those bitter old women had gotten a mark in their youth.

At thirteen, Rey’s mark appeared, along with her period, and for the first time, she began to hope. 

_ What’ll it be, darlin? _

At twenty, she had yet to hear those words spoken to her. She still held out hope. After all, she  _ was _ only twenty, and the words just screamed  _ bartender _ . 

~*~

_ Landstuhl Regional Medical Center; Landstuhl, Germany - 2015 _

As it turned out, Clyde had had more things wrong with him than just the missing limb. A good percentage of his left side had been singed by the blast, but thankfully they were only minor burns and shouldn’t scar horribly. A couple of ribs were broken, so it hurt to breathe for a time. The tibia of his left leg had also been broken, and of course, not to mention the unseen injuries. Though his CT scans appeared normal, the scars of the IED weren’t just skin deep. His memory of the event hadn’t returned, nor the memory of the words of his soulmark. He couldn’t remember a few other details from his childhood, no matter how hard he’d focus.

The surviving members of his unit were also stuck in this damn hospital. At least that was a saving grace. They wiled away their time playing cards and other board games. Clyde hated how he’d go to use his left hand and forget it wasn’t there. At night, when his mind wasn’t focused on other things, he’d swear he could still wiggle the fingers of his absent hand. 

Clyde would get so agitated, so frustrated and borderline overcome with rage, that he would often hole himself up in his hospital bed and hide. 

Later, he would realize he owed credit of his recovery to the boys from his unit: Finn Storm, Poe Dameron, Mitaka Dopheld, and Snap Wexley. They’d been fortunate enough to not lose a limb in the blast, but Snap lost all hearing in his right ear. Without them, Clyde might have stayed in his bed forever, but they kept each other sane. They didn’t judge each other when they couldn’t keep the tears in anymore. They didn’t judge each other for their fear of how they would re-assimilate into civilian life. They didn’t judge when one of them screamed into the deep hours of the night, dreams overrun with horrific images.

One afternoon while in the rec room, far into a competitive game of Monopoly, one of the orderlies came to notify Clyde of a phone call. He still wasn’t ambulatory, which furthered his frustrations, but the doctor said his leg was well on the mend. It was hard to walk with crutches, after all. 

“Hello?” He spoke into the phone once the orderly had wheeled him to one of the nurses’ stations. 

“Jesus Christ, Clyde.” 

The West Virginia drawl on the other end of the line was unmistakable. 

“Well, hey there, Jimmy,” Clyde greeted, his own accent like a smooth bourbon, slow and deep. 

“You don’t fuckin’ call to let me know how you’re doin’ and all you say is ‘Well, hey there, Jimmy’?” His brother’s irritation was damn near palpable even thousands of miles away. 

Clyde didn’t respond. It took strength to not roll his eyes. For the next few minutes, he let his older brother talk about all the things going on back home in Boone County. Clyde only half listened, but did pay attention to the bits involving his niece, Sadie. 

“... anyway, I’ll be waitin’ for you when you get back State-side. Another month and you’ll be home.”

Something warm wriggled in Clyde’s heart, and in that moment, he was thankful he and his siblings were close. His big brother would make sure he’d be okay, look out for him, as he’d always done. 

“Mellie already printed out your physical therapy schedule. We’ll make sure you get to every appointment.”

Clyde’s eyelids shut slowly, fighting back the burn building in his eyes. Sometimes, he felt like a damn child, wanting to be coddled, to be reassured. But he was a grown ass man… 

“Thanks, Jimmy,” Clyde spoke softly into the phone. 

“It’s gonna be okay, little brother. Mellie says ‘hi,’ by the way. Give us a call more often, huh? The Army can pay for the international fees. I just need to know you’re alright.” 

“I promise.”

“Good. When time gets closer to you comin’ home, we’ll iron out some more details, but we’ll be there to get you.”

The evening after the phone call with his brother was tough. Clashing feelings of loneliness, helplessness, and gratitude for his family overwhelmed him. Clyde ended up crying himself to sleep. 

A week later, Clyde awoke drenched in a cold sweat. 

_ His letters _ . 

His letters were gone, blown to hell with the rest of his belongings, and him. His heart beat wildly in his chest, panic washing over him wave after wave. 

_ Computer _ . He needed a computer…

It was early morning, and Clyde’s efforts to get himself into his wheelchair alerted the overnight nurse. The guy came barrelling into his half of the hospital room, eyes wide, looking for trouble. Miraculously, they didn’t wake Clyde’s roommate, Snap, attempting to get Clyde in his wheelchair. Only when the nurse, Corporal Higgins, had rolled him out to the nurses’ station, did he speak. 

“What the hell is wrong with you, Logan?” 

“I gotta… I gotta check my email.  _ Please _ . It’s an emergency.”

“Okay then, don’t get your undies in a twist…” 

Corporal Higgins situated Clyde behind the computer he’d been using before Clyde had nearly caused a ruckus. Clyde shot Corporal Higgins an amused look at the open Spider Solitaire window.

“What? You’re all sleeping…” 

Clyde chuckled, and navigated to a new Internet browser window. He pecked at the keys with his right hand, refusing the corporal’s help. It took more time, but Clyde wanted the independence of the act. 

Relief washed over Clyde when he logged into his email account to see that the messages he’d gotten from her were still there, safe and sound. He might’ve lost her original letters, but at least he still had the messages that counted. They had kept him company for two whole tours in Iraq, after all. Giving him a little glimmer of hope in the dark. 

“Everything okay?” Corporal Higgins asked from his perch at the neighboring computer. 

“Yeah…” Clyde replied, though his lips formed a frown at the amount of new emails he’d gotten. Clyde had never bothered to check when he’d been transported out of Iraq, didn’t really feel the want or the need to hear what’s going on in the outside world. 

But that early morning, he’d come out of a restless sleep, remembering there  _ was _ someone other than his family in the outside world he cared to hear about.

After a few mouse clicks, and a quick search to narrow down her emails, dread caught in his throat at the increasingly frantic messages she’d sent over the past month. They’d stopped two weeks ago.

Clyde couldn’t bring himself to read them. Instead of the usual joy he felt in seeing the notification of a new email, he felt nauseous. A woozy feeling swelled in his gut, and he tried his hardest to swallow it back. 

He couldn’t email her. Not after what had happened. 

She’d want a  _ whole _ man, and he was far from whole. There was no way he could ever face her. Not now. Not now that he was a broken man. 

He slid the cursor across the screen, hovering over the box that would ‘Select All.’ 

God, he was so tempted. So tempted to erase them all. To purge all memory of her.

Clyde logged out instead, a tiny, rational part of him knowing he would regret the decision. Her emails were too important to get rid of, but he could never respond to her again. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This update got a little out of hand... So out of hand, I had to add a chapter. Hope that's okay, Heathyr! XD

**CORRESPONDENCES BETWEEN CLYDE LOGAN AND REY NIIMA -- CLYDE’S FIRST DEPLOYMENT TO IRAQ**

_ Private Clyde Logan _

_ Unit [redacted] Box [redacted] _

_ APO AE 09350 _

_ October 8, 2013 _

Dear Private Logan,

Hi there! My name is Rey Niima. I got your name and address through a non-profit organization that pairs soldiers with a pen pal. It’s called Letters from Home, if you wanted to look it up. 

I’ve never had a pen pal before, so I don’t know how this is supposed to work. I guess I’ll just… start with a bit about me?

I’m a junior at New York University. I’m majoring in mechanical engineering which probably makes me sound smarter than I actually am. I’m not sure where I’d like to work after graduation, but I’ll take any job I can get. I like working with my hands. It makes me feel like I’m accomplishing something. I think I should like to work for NASA some day. Perhaps build rovers for space travel. Or rovers that could drive around Mars.

Originally, I grew up in Oxfordshire. That’s in England. I worked hard in school and decided I wanted to make my way to the States. I was fortunate to get a scholarship to NYU. It’s so neat to be here. I see why people think New York is one of the greatest cities in the world. There’s so much history and culture. Have you ever been? If you haven’t, you definitely should. Not to mention the food. Oh, so much good food. I’ll eat just about anything, and there are so many options here. 

I’m not an American citizen but there were plenty of kids I grew up with that joined the British Army. So I appreciate the sacrifices you’ve made and the dedication of your service.

How long have you been in the Army? How long are you supposed to be in Iraq (if you’re allowed to say)? Are you nervous? I can’t imagine what it’s like over there. Please stay safe and respond only when you have the time! I am looking forward to hearing from you. 

Regards,

Rey 

* * *

_ Rey Niima _

_ 40 E. 7th Street, 713 _

_ New York, NY 10003 _

_ October 22, 2013 _

Dear Miss Niima,

I must say that I was very much surprised to receive your letter. I forgot that my sergeant signed the unit up with Letters from Home. I didn’t really expect to talk to anyone but my family back home. I look forward to getting to know you.

Can’t say I’ve ever had a pen pal either, so we’ll learn together? For the record, you can call me Clyde. Private Logan is too formal for someone that isn’t in the trenches, so to speak. 

I’ve never been to New York City. I’ve not been much outside of where I grew up, actually. I’m from West Virginia. I know West Virginians have a certain reputation, but I promise we’re more than backwoods hicks. I was born and raised in Boone County. I have a brother, Jimmy, and a sister, Mellie. Unfortunately, our parents are no longer with us, but we have each other. 

I’ve never met anyone from England. What was it like growing up there?

Sounds like you should be proud of yourself for all you’ve accomplished. I barely graduated high school and felt joining the Army was my only option. I wanted to get out of West Virginia, travel, see the world. It’s kind of worked? I’ve been in for about five years now. Been stationed in Texas, Germany, and South Korea. This is my first deployment to Iraq and we’re scheduled to be here about 6 months. 

Life in Iraq is definitely not like home. We spend a lot of time on base. We’re not allowed to leave because it’s too dangerous. A few times a week we go on patrol, clearing nearby towns, helping locals. It’s hotter than Hell here and we’ve often got to take cover from sandstorms. We pass the time as best we can. I’ve met some of my very best friends in my unit. We play poker, shoot some hoops, and gab. I like to read too.

To answer your question about being nervous… I think if I wasn’t a little nervous, I’d be stupid. I try to pretend I’m in Texas again, and it doesn’t seem so bad. With the hot weather and the desert conditions, it  is almost Texas. El Paso was the worst, let me tell you.

What made you pick New York City for school? What’s your favorite thing about the city? If I ever find myself there, I’ll have to give it a go. 

Thank you for this. Truly. It’s nice to get mail, and it’s especially nice to get mail from a voluntary pen pal. :)

Sincerely,

Clyde Logan

* * *

_ Private Clyde Logan _

_ Unit [redacted] Box [redacted] _

_ APO AE 09350 _

_ November 5, 2013 _

Dear Clyde,

If I’m to call you Clyde, then you MUST call me Rey.

I was so happy to get your letter! I’m glad my first one made it to you all the way in Iraq. It’s truly amazing to think about the distance it’s covered. 

Can’t say that I’ve ever been to West Virginia. Since arriving in the States, I haven’t been outside of New York. It’s hard when you’re not making a lot of money as a college student, but I’m saving up for adventures. I would love to see more of the US. I’d love to see more of Europe too. The world, even. 

You have got to tell me more about your siblings! I don’t have any of my own, so I don’t know what it’s like. How was it like growing up with them? Going to school with them? You must miss them a lot. I hope you’re able to stay in contact with them while you’re overseas. 

Speaking of! We were told that if all parties agreed, we correspond through email instead of snail mail. I don’t know what your Internet situation is on base, but if you’d like to email instead, we could? It’d certainly go faster, and less likely for a letter to get lost in the shuffle. I will leave it entirely up to you, so let me know!

I bet Germany and South Korea were amazing! The experiences you must’ve had… As I’ve said, I’ve only ever seen England and New York. My worldview isn’t as varied as yours! 

There are a lot of things in the media about Iraq. A lot of preconceived notions, even in England! From what I remember of my history, Iraq was the cradle of civilization. The world’s first major cities grew up in between the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers. Though Iraq may not seem like much but depressing desert, and you don’t even get to see much, at least know you’re in a very ancient place. I wonder if you’d find artifacts if you were allowed to go digging. Not that I’m encouraging that, of course. Us Brits know more than most about how to steal precious history and exploit the artifacts by putting them in our museums instead of leaving them in the hands of the country of origin. 

Regardless, I’m glad you have good people to help pass the time. I have two really good friends: Rose and Hux. Well, his name is Armitage, but he hates it, so we just call him by his last name. Without them, I’m not sure where I’d be.

I picked New York for school for a slew of reasons. One being that it’s NEW YORK CITY. How can you turn down that opportunity? Another reason was because I wanted to start fresh in a vastly different place than where I grew up. I’ve always had an affinity for math and science, and building things, so engineering seemed the path to take. NYU has a great engineering school, and they offered me a scholarship. Again, how could I turn down that opportunity? I’ve loved NYU. I’ll be sad to leave it behind in another year and a half. But I’ll be excited for the next big adventure. I think I’ll stay in the US, and find a job. Maybe even become a citizen someday. 

You  would have to ask me my favorite thing about the city… I think I would have to say my favorite part of NYC is the food. There is sooo much of it. Such a wide variety. Anything you could ever want, it’s here. Trust me, I’ve tried  everything . I think my favorite so far is either dim sum or pizza. Or Ethiopian!

Tell me more about what it was like growing up in Boone County, West Virginia. And tell me more about the places you’ve been whilst in the Army. I look forward to hearing all about it!

Stay safe!

Rey

* * *

_ Rey Niima _

_ 40 E. 7th Street, 713 _

_ New York, NY 10003 _

_ December 2, 2013 _

Dear Rey,

This is the year of our Lord, 2013, and yes, I do believe we could use email instead. I have to admit I’m impatient now, waiting on your letters. So, let’s make this the last of the snail mail, shall we? Here’s my email address: clogan7@yahoo.com.

You should know that you inspired me to find books about the history of Iraq. We have a small library on base, and you’d think a base in Iraq would have books about the country it’s in. You’d be thinking wrong. Thank God we’ve got decent Internet. I’ve ordered a couple of books on the subject. One of them got to me just the other day.  _ The Fertile Crescent _ . It’s fascinating history. First written languages, first successful cities, agriculture in the desert using irrigation… Reading’s certainly passed the time, but I’ll admit I’ve never been a fan of history. It was always my least favorite class. I think not having to write papers about stuff makes it more enjoyable.

Good Lord, what’s there to say about Jimmy and Mellie? Jimmy’s the oldest, of course. I grew up in his shadow, always following him around, always wanting to do what he did. I went to juvie for a spell because of some shenanigans he got me in as young teens. But it’s alright. I love my brother. He was going to be a big name in football, but then he blew out his knee. One of a long line of casualties to the Logan Curse. But that’s all I’ll say about that right now. 

Mellie is the youngest of us, and the only girl, so we’re right fierce about making sure no one messes with her. But the thing about Mellie is she doesn’t let anyone mess with her regardless, so I don’t have to do much to help. She’s studying to be a beautician. She’s always loved dressing up and such. 

Alright, so, you want to know more about the places I’ve been? Here’s a breakdown for you:

Boone County : First 18 years. It’s a small community. The kind where everyone knows everyone else. Went to school with the same people K through 12. Got to see them make something of themselves, or not. A lot of people in West Virginia ended up working in the coal mines. Those are kind of dying out now. I never wanted to work in one. Too claustrophobic.

South Korea : This was my first trip out of the States while in the Army. We were there about a year. It was a great place. Koreans are really nice people, very welcoming. The food was different, but good. We took short trips to Japan and into China as well. Talk about more ancient civilizations.

El Paso, Texas : I don’t have much to say about El Paso. It’s my least favorite place. Hot, dry, tempers flaring all the time… Don’t ever go there if you can help it. I was there a year, and it was a year too long.

Germany : Germany’s probably been one of my favorite assignments. Luckily, we got to be stationed there for almost two years before we had to go back to the States and prepare for Iraq. You mentioned wanting to see more of Europe? I got the chance to go pretty much everywhere. It’s what made staying in the Army worth it. Rey, you would love it. Italy, Germany, France, Sweden, Norway, Czech Republic, Romania, Hungary… truly an amazing experience I would never trade for the world.

It’s funny, now that I’m thinking on it. I’ve been to all of these places, but never New York City. I’ll have to make it a point to go there when I’m back home. 

I know in your first letter, you said something about how engineering makes you sound smarter than you actually are. I bet that’s not true. I bet you’re very smart. You have to be, to know all that math that goes with engineering. And physics too, right? I was horrible both in school. English was my favorite, believe it or not. Anyway, the fact you want to build things that’ll drive on Mars is absolutely admirable to me. I can’t even fathom space. It’s too huge. 

Warmest Regards from the Cradle of Civilization,

Clyde

* * *

**From: Rey Niima <rn807@nyu.edu>**

**To: Clyde Logan <clogan7@yahoo.com>**

**Date: December 17, 2013**

**Subject: Happy [Late] Thanksgiving!**

Dear Clyde,

Hello from the quick response time of the Internet! I meant to do this sooner, but you know how snail mail works: HAPPY THANKSGIVING!! I hope you were able to enjoy some form of turkey and potatoes. This was my third Thanksgiving. We don’t have this holiday in England, but as someone who loves food, I very much appreciate it. My best friend, Rose, invites me home to spend the holiday with her family every year. It’s always so much fun. But if I’m honest, when I get back to school, I get a bit down for a few days. 

What I haven’t shared with you yet is that I’m an orphan. Yes, I grew up in Oxfordshire, but I did so with several foster families. My parents were professors at the university, but they died in a traffic collision. I had no other family to care for me, so I ended up in an orphanage for a time. I was luckier than some, though. I was able to attend good schools, which allowed me to end up at NYU. So, that’s why I was sad. I get to experience the family I’ve never had. 

Anyway, sorry, I didn’t mean to turn this email into a sob story. 

I’m so glad that I gave you an idea to pass the time! I hope you’re learning all about the history of Iraq and the Middle East. It certainly gives you a different viewpoint on current events. 

Speaking of family, thank you so much for sharing about your siblings. They sound like they were fun to grow up with. I bet they were pains in the asses at times, as is the lot of siblings in life, but I’m sure you love them all the same. 

Your travels sound amazing. I wish I had even half of those experiences. I’d love to try cuisine from every continent, in that continent. I’ve actually made a bucket list. XD 

Clyde, you are sweet. I wish I could say I was a genius. And you shouldn’t say anything about your intelligence either! You’re reading up on History, that’s more than some people can say they’re doing. 

What will you plan to do during the upcoming holidays? Do you get any leave time while you’re in Iraq? 

Stay safe!

Rey

* * *

**From: Clyde Logan <clogan7@yahoo.com>**

**To: Rey Niima <rn807@nyu.edu>**

**Date: December 20, 2013**

**Subject: Re: Happy [Late] Thanksgiving!**

Dear Rey,

Yes, this is definitely nicer. While it’s fun getting mail, I guess I’m too impatient and need the instant gratification. 

We did have something that resembled Thanksgiving dinner. Of course, it’s not like grandma’s, but it’ll do in a pinch. In a combat zone, you take the good things as they come. 

Thank you for telling me about your childhood. I’m sure it’s never easy to talk about, and I’m sorry you didn’t get to experience family as you should. But that’s the beauty of the family you make. While I have my own family waiting at home, I have made a family out of people in my unit. Poe Dameron, Finn Storm, Snap Wexley, and Mitaka Dopheld are brothers from other mothers. Having people as close as we are helps keep you sane in an otherwise highly stressful situation.

We’re going to have a make-shift Christmas here. One of my buddies is Jewish, so we’re going to help him celebrate Hanukkah too. I’ve never celebrated it, so it’ll be interesting to experience. Other than that, our unit is in the rotation to be on patrol, so we’ll be doing that most of the week. What are your plans, Rey?

Warmest Regards from the Cradle of Civilization,

Clyde

* * *

**From: Rey Niima <rn807@nyu.edu>**

**To: Clyde Logan <clogan7@yahoo.com>**

**Date: December 25, 2013**

**Subject: Re: Re: Happy [Late] Thanksgiving!**

Dear Clyde,

First of all, HAPPY CHRISTMAS! Yes, in England we say ‘Happy’ instead of ‘Merry.’

And you know, you are so right. Family doesn’t have to be blood. You can find family. And I have, in my closest friends. Rose’s family is the best, they definitely make me feel so welcome and treat me as though I’m another one of their children. See, they have Rose, and her older sister, Paige. They’re both the apples of their parents’ eyes. They always send me things in Rose’s care packages, ever since freshman year. They’re so sweet.

That’s where I am now, actually. They’re kind enough to have me for the winter holiday as well as Thanksgiving. We’ll be here for another couple of weeks before we go back to NYU. They do New Year’s up big too. It’s so funny. They have streamers and throw confetti, and they get rip-roaring drunk. It’s so great. Winter break in general is just relaxing. A welcome relief from the stress of the semester. When we go back, we’ll start all over again. Bleh. 

You’ve got to tell me more about your bros! Rose is actually corresponding with Finn Storm, and my other friend Hux is writing to Poe Dameron. I’m not sure how much they write to each other, though. I feel like we just go back and forth all the time, don’t we? I’ve never met you, but it’s funny how you’re just easy to talk too. Must be the West Virginia charm! 

I hope you enjoy your make-shift holiday. And you’re right, it does sound rather interesting, celebrating Hanukkah. I grew up in a variety of religious environments. I had foster parents who were stalwart atheists, all the way to foster parents who were evangelical Christians. I have to say, they were the worst. XD

Well, I should sign off now. We’re about to start a game of Monopoly. It’s always intense with Rose’s family. Hopefully, I’ll survive to respond to your next email!

Stay safe!

Rey

* * *

**From: Clyde Logan <clogan7@yahoo.com>**

**To: Rey Niima <rn807@nyu.edu>**

**Date: December 31, 2013**

**Subject: Happy New Year**

Dear Rey, 

Happy New Year! It’s already 2014 in Iraq, technically. The boys and I stayed up to watch the clock tick down to midnight. I’ve never really been one for making New Year’s resolutions, but I’ve done a lot of thinking lately. I know, don’t hurt myself, right? I’ve been thinking about what to do with myself once I’m out of the Army. I don’t think I’d want to make a career of it. Some people do, and that’s good for them, but I don’t think it’d be for me. I’m proud of how I’ve served my country, but I believe I’ve done my time. 

When we get off patrol rotation again, I’m going to do some research about trade school. Maybe welding or HVAC or auto mechanic? I’ve always been a hands-on learner. Just hands on, in general. I think I’d make a good little career off of something like that. Nothing as dignified as engineering, but still an honest living. What do you think?

It pleases me that you have somewhere to go for the holidays. No one should be alone. Unless they like being alone, I guess. I hope Santa was good to you this year. Mellie sent me a care package with socks, underwear, and other odds and ends like that. I’m a big fan of practical gifts. 

What’s there to say about my crew? They’re the biggest cads you’d ever meet, but they’d give you the shirt off their back if you asked. Poe wants to be a pilot, and is applying for flight school. Finn is the biggest bleeding heart, just the kindest guy in the world. Snap and Mitaka are hoots. Get them together, and they’ll have you in stitches for hours. 

Poe and Finn have mentioned exchanging letters with your friends. They’re not ungrateful, but they’ve both never been big on letter writing, so I’m not sure how often they correspond. Certainly not as often as us. I can’t say enough how much I’ve enjoyed writing to you. I know it’s only been a handful of times, but it feels like I’ve known you forever.

By the way, the Hanukkah celebration was great! My buddy taught us all the prayers to recite, in Hebrew, and we lit the menorah every night. We couldn’t give him much in the way of presents, but we went with small things from the commissary and such. 

I hope you survived Monopoly. Have you thought of taking on a New Year’s Resolution? 

Warmest Regards from the Cradle of Civilization,

Clyde

* * *

**From: Rey Niima <rn807@nyu.edu>**

**To: Clyde Logan <clogan7@yahoo.com>**

**Date: January 3, 2014**

**Subject: Re: Happy New Year**

Dear Clyde,

MONOPOLY WAS A NIGHTMARE. I LANDED ON EVERYONE’S HOTELS AND ENDED UP BANKRUPT. HATE THAT GAME SO MUCH.

Now that I’ve got that off my chest… Happy New Year! I think your chosen resolution is a fantastic idea! Whatever you choose, I’m sure you will be great at it. If you need help finding schools or doing any of the research, just let me know! I’ll gladly help!

As for my own resolution… I never really gave them much thought. To me, it’s just another day, another year, more surviving. But since you asked, I’ve thought about it. I think my resolution this year is to put myself out there more. I’ve been in self-imposed seclusion since I started as a freshman. I work and work to stay on top of my grades, but I’ve never really done many extracurriculars or just had fun. Rose keeps telling me that I won’t meet my soulmate if I hide in my dorm room. I know she’s right, but it’s just too much potential to feel vulnerable. I hate feeling vulnerable. 

Speaking of, I rather like and appreciate that we have yet to bring up the topic of soulmates and soul marks. If it’s agreeable to you, I’d like to keep not talking about it. Most people I meet immediately look to my arm, or they ask if I’ve met my soulmate. I think the concept is, well, not overrated, but… it’s just not the end-all-be-all of life, I guess? Would you be okay with that? It just makes for a more real and rich conversation, I think.

So, New Year, new us, right? You can’t have much longer to go in Iraq? I know you said 6 months, but I don’t think I ever asked how long you’d been in Iraq by the time my first letter got to you? What will you do when you get back to the States? 

Stay safe!

Rey 

* * *

**From: Clyde Logan <clogan7@yahoo.com>**

**To: Rey Niima <rn807@nyu.edu>**

**Date: January 13, 2014**

**Subject: Is It March Yet?**

Dear Rey,

Apologies for not writing sooner. We had a bit of a situation. Can’t say much, but we had to leave the base for a few days to deal with this situation. We’re back, safe and sound, and in the same routine. 

If you can’t tell by the subject line, we get to leave in March! Not that I’m counting down the days… No word on where we will be sent to next, but with my luck, it’ll be El Paso again. My most favorite place in the world. Not.

Since we began writing back and forth to each other, it hadn’t even crossed my mind that we’d never brought up soulmates or soul marks. It just felt like the most natural thing to do… which is kind of weird, isn’t it? Everyone I ever meet always brings it up too. And you’re right, it’s like they bring it up because it’s the only thing in life that matters? I’m with you all the way though, we don’t need to bring it up until we’re ready. 

I think your resolution is a great idea. I’m a bit of an introvert myself, and the Army has really tested my limits. But, again, it’s been rewarding, and overall, I can’t complain too much. You’ll have to keep me updated on the ways you stick to your resolution, and I’ll keep you updated on mine. And I appreciate your offer of help. I’ll definitely take you up on it if the need arises. 

You know, we’ve talked a lot about some pretty deep things, but we’ve never covered the basics. What’s your favorite color? Do you prefer coffee or tea? What TV shows do you like to watch, if any? Movies? What types of books do you like to read? Do you like any sports? Maybe I should find a ‘Get To Know You’ questionnaire, and we can fill it out, haha.

My deepest regards,

Clyde

* * *

**From: Rey Niima <rn807@nyu.edu>**

**To: Clyde Logan <clogan7@yahoo.com>**

**Date: January 15, 2014**

**Subject: Ask, and Ye Shall Receive**

Dear Clyde,

Can you tell I was procrastinating homework?

_ <Link: SignUpGenius.Com Article- 100 Getting To Know You Questions> _

  1. Who is your hero? **Michele Brekke (first female flight director for NASA)**
  2. If you could live anywhere, where would it be? **Rome, Italy**
  3. What is your biggest fear? **Being alone**
  4. What is your favorite family vacation? **Well damn… a foster family I was with did take me to Bath once. That was fun?**
  5. What would you change about yourself if you could? **Get rid of my freckles**
  6. What really makes you angry? **Being underestimated**
  7. What motivates you to work hard? **Failure (avoiding it)**
  8. What is your favorite thing about your career? **Being a student? At this point, the days off during the summer and Spring Break, and winter break...**
  9. What is your biggest complaint about your job? **Too much homework**
  10. What is your proudest accomplishment? **Getting into NYU**
  11. What is your child's proudest accomplishment? **N/A**
  12. What is your favorite book to read? **Harry Potter series**
  13. What makes you laugh the most? **Watching cute cat videos**
  14. What was the last movie you went to? What did you think? **_The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug_** **, and I LOVED it!**
  15. What did you want to be when you were small? **An astronaut**
  16. What does your child want to be when he/she grows up? **N/A**
  17. If you could choose to do anything for a day, what would it be? **Sleep**
  18. What is your favorite game or sport to watch and play? **Rugby**
  19. Would you rather ride a bike, ride a horse, or drive a car? **Drive a car**
  20. What would you sing at Karaoke night? **“Oops I Did It Again” by Britney Spears**



[ … ]

Stay safe!

Rey

* * *

**From: Clyde Logan <clogan7@yahoo.com>**

**To: Rey Niima <rn807@nyu.edu>**

**Date: January 20, 2014**

**Subject: Re: Ask, and Ye Shall Receive**

Dear Rey,

Definitely can tell. XD

_ <Link: SignUpGenius.Com Article- 100 Getting To Know You Questions> _

  1. Who is your hero? **Derek Jeter (I’ve played baseball since I was 5, and he was my idol, posters in my room and everything)**
  2. If you could live anywhere, where would it be? **Norway**
  3. What is your biggest fear? **Being alone.**
  4. What is your favorite family vacation? **We went to Myrtle Beach once in high school. That was fun.**
  5. What would you change about yourself if you could? **Smaller ears, smaller nose, more chin**
  6. What really makes you angry? **When the Red Sox win the World Series**
  7. What motivates you to work hard? **To make myself proud**
  8. What is your favorite thing about your career? **Blowing shit up… kidding, traveling (although blowing shit up is fun)**
  9. What is your biggest complaint about your job? **Being away from family**
  10. What is your proudest accomplishment? **Serving in the Army**
  11. What is your child's proudest accomplishment? **N/A**
  12. What is your favorite book to read? **_The Great Gatsby_**
  13. What makes you laugh the most? **America’s Funniest Home Videos (it’s a TV show where people send in videos of dumb stuff that they caught on camera, and they air it for all of America to see)**
  14. What was the last movie you went to? What did you think? **Honestly, I think the last movie I saw was the first Hobbit movie. And it was good! I enjoyed it.**
  15. What did you want to be when you were small? **An actor**
  16. What does your child want to be when he/she grows up? **N/A**
  17. If you could choose to do anything for a day, what would it be? **Eat three square meals of good home-cooked food**
  18. What is your favorite game or sport to watch and play? **Baseball**
  19. Would you rather ride a bike, ride a horse, or drive a car? **Drive a car**
  20. What would you sing at Karaoke night? **“Night Moves” by Bob Seeger**



[ … ]

There is so much to unpack with your answers…

I cannot begin to fathom why you would want to get rid of freckles?! Freckles are adorable.

My deepest regards,

Clyde

* * *

**From: Rey Niima <rn807@nyu.edu>**

**To: Clyde Logan <clogan7@yahoo.com>**

**Date: January 26, 2014**

**Subject: Re: Re: Ask, and Ye Shall Receive**

Dear Clyde,

You have no idea how annoying freckles can be! Especially when your skin gets tan, and they show up big time. Like spots on a cheetah. I’m attaching a picture of me, so you can see. LOOK AT THEM. THEY’RE EVERYWHERE!

_ The Great Gatsby _ , huh? I’m not sure what that says about you... 

I’m going to have to look into America’s Funniest Home Videos. I don’t believe I have ever watched it, but if it’s as funny as online cat videos, then I shall be greatly entertained. Maybe too entertained. Maybe I shouldn’t. Don’t want to distract myself from homework. 

By the way, update on my New Year’s resolution. I actually went out to a local trivia night with Rose and Hux. It was a lot of fun! We lost by a lot, but the experience was a win! How’s yours going?

Stay safe!

Rey

_ Attachment: <Selfie.jpg (187k)> _

_ _

* * *

**From: Clyde Logan <clogan7@yahoo.com>**

**To: Rey Niima <rn807@nyu.edu>**

**Date: February 2, 2014**

**Subject: Re: Re: Re: Ask, and Ye Shall Receive**

Dear Rey,

Again, I ask you, how can you say that freckles aren’t adorable? Without sounding like some sort of creep, you are a beautiful woman, Rey. Freckles and all. Is it weird that you are pretty damn close to how I pictured you in my head? Without you even needing to describe what you looked like. 

Because it’s only fair, I am attaching a picture of myself. So you can see why I wish for smaller ears, smaller nose, more chin. I know I look like a fetus in that picture… 

What’s wrong with  _ The Great Gatsby _ ? It’s about the disillusionment of the American Dream, and class inequality. How can anyone NOT enjoy that?

My resolution is coming along, actually! In what spare time I have and am allowed use of the Internet, I’m searching up trade schools back home. I’ve got access to the G.I. Bill so I shouldn’t have to worry too much over how to pay for it. 

The rumor mill is that we’ll be heading to California when our time is finished here. At least it’s not El Paso. Though, with my luck, that could change at any time. Keep your fingers crossed for me, Rey. You do not know what El Paso is like…

How is your new semester going? Hard at work?

My deepest regards for your freckles,

Clyde

_ Attachment: <Me.jpg (187k)> _

_ _

* * *

**From: Rey Niima <rn807@nyu.edu>**

**To: Clyde Logan <clogan7@yahoo.com>**

**Date: February 8, 2014**

**Subject: Well On Our Way!**

Dear Clyde,

CLYDE LOGAN! Your last email made me blush! You’re so sweet, thank you. I’ve never had anyone say I’m beautiful. Must be your Southern Charm coming out or something. You have to be nice to me, right? 

CLYDE LOGAN! YOU ARE SO CUTE. I CANNOT WITH YOUR PICTURE. I am not saying this because you complimented me first, I genuinely mean it, but you are handsome. Don’t let you tell yourself otherwise. Your ears, nose, chin, eyes… everything. It’s very strange that you said what you said… about me being what you pictured? I feel the same. I just… kind of knew? Strange, right? 

_ The Great Gatsby _ is overrated. It’s so, like, sexist. I don’t know. I just didn’t enjoy it when I had to read it for an English class here. I didn’t like the Leo DiCaprio movie either. Didn’t enjoy  _ Grapes of Wrath _ either. American literature, in general, is not what I would have expected. I prefer the classics of English Lit. Could be the snob in me. XD

I am so glad your resolution is progressing! There is no doubt that your time in the Army should give you an experience others cannot bring to the table. If anyone says otherwise, then you point me to them, and I’ll take care of them for you. 

California? But that’s so far away from West Virginia! But, if it is preferable to El Paso, then I will keep my fingers crossed for you. 

The semester is going well, thank you for asking! I can’t believe I only have one more year, and then I’ll graduate! I’m starting to look for internships over the summer. A lot of times those will get you a foot in the door somewhere for a potential job later. 

Keep your adorable ears safe,

Rey

* * *

**From: Clyde Logan <clogan7@yahoo.com>**

**To: Rey Niima <rn807@nyu.edu>**

**Date: February 12, 2014**

**Subject: Re: Well On Our Way!**

Dear Rey,

I can’t imagine why on earth you’re shouting my name in an email! I’m just calling it like it is. Like I see it. But if it made you uncomfortable, please tell me. I value our correspondences too much to mess this up. 

It is strange how we seemed to picture the other without any hints. Maybe the universe is trying to tell us something? This past six months have gone quicker than I anticipated them because of you. You and the shining light you bring to my life with your letters. If, again, what I am about to say is uncomfortable to you, please tell me. 

I want to meet you, Rey. Even though we’ve never actually spoken, I feel like there’s an undeniable connection between us. And yes, I may have a grain of Southern Charm, but I am by no means good at this sort of thing. I like you, Rey. I’d like to meet you. Only to confirm what I already believe: there’s something here, and I’d like to explore it, if you’d accept a hardened, old Army vet. 

God, I don’t know how many times I’ve erased and re-written this email, haha. 

But if this is too much, too forward, ignore this. As I said, I don’t want to lose you. 

Whew, not that that’s off my chest. You can’t judge  _ The Great Gatsby _ based on the Leonardo DiCaprio movie. You’ve got to watch the Robert Redford version. Everyone knows that! XD I can’t say I overly enjoyed reading things like  _ Beowulf _ and Shakespeare, but they do have a little something American Literature doesn’t have.

I am happy to hear your semester is going well, and that you are taking time for your resolution. It’ll give you time to relax from your studies. I know that can be taxing at times. 

If you don’t hear from me for a while, it’s because we’re on patrol, and are preparing to leave. There are protocols and procedures we have to do to get base ready for the next unit. I may not have much time to get to check email, but know that I will the first chance I get.

My deepest regards for your freckles,

Clyde

* * *

**From: Rey Niima <rn807@nyu.edu>**

**To: Clyde Logan <clogan7@yahoo.com>**

**Date: February 19, 2014**

**Subject: Re: Re: Well On Our Way!**

Dear Clyde,

My hands are shaking as I reply to your email. 

I would like nothing more than to meet you in person, Clyde. I’ve been considering asking you for at least a month now, but I never knew how to broach the subject. When I signed up to do this pen pal exchange, I never thought that I would form this… connection… from it. I didn’t intend to, if I’m honest. It was just something I thought I could do to give back to those serving. But then I was given your name, and over the past six months between letters and emails, it seems as though something’s happened, and I feel as if I’ve known you my whole life. We come from two different worlds, but we’re similar. 

So, yes. When you can and when I am able, I want to meet you. I want to know the sound of your voice. I want to show you New York. But in the meantime, I will settle for emails. :)

Your words were perfect, Clyde Logan, don’t believe otherwise. I’m an awkward potato, so we can be awkward potatoes together. 

I didn’t know there were any other versions of  _ The Great Gatsby _ ! I will have to look into this… or maybe, we can watch it together?

Please be safe in the remaining time you have in Iraq. I will be eagerly anticipating your email saying you made it back to US soil safe and sound. 

I hope your ears arrive safely back home!

Rey

* * *

**From: Clyde Logan <clogan7@yahoo.com>**

**To: Rey Niima <rn807@nyu.edu>**

**Date: March 9, 2014**

**Subject: Made It To Cali!**

Dearest Rey,

The past slew of days has been crazier than a cat in a top hat. We had briefing after briefing, patrol duty, cleaning duty, so many other duties. You’d think that the unit coming after us was some posh, elite unit that requires mints on their pillows and pull down service. But then maybe it was like that for the guys that were here before us. 

Anyway, we made it safely to California, and are settling in at Fort Liggett. Cali is yet another place I’ve never been, so it’ll be interesting to see what’s nearby to explore. 

I checked my email as quickly as I could. And your response had me over the moon, Rey. The moment that I am allowed any leave time, I’ll let you know. And I’ll be there. So you can show me around New York. And maybe sometime, I’ll be able to show you around my hometown. And yes, we can watch  _ The Great Gatsby _ with Robert Redford. Have you seen any of his other movies? He’s such a great actor.

Apologies for the shortness of this email. There’s a lot we have to do as new arrivals. I will look forward to continuing communication now that I’m back state-side. And at least I’m only a country away this time.

My deepest regard for your freckles,

Clyde

* * *

**From: Rey Niima <rn807@nyu.edu>**

**To: Clyde Logan <clogan7@yahoo.com>**

**Date: March 10, 2014**

**Subject: Re: Made It To Cali!**

Dear Clyde,

I don’t lie and say I haven’t been worried. I’ve actually been checking Army news just to make sure. Luckily, things have ramped up this semester as midterms are coming soon, so I have that to keep my mind occupied. 

Just looked up Ft. Liggett. Seems like an interesting place. Hopefully, when they don’t have you busy, you’ll be able to look around and get to know the area. I don’t suppose you know the full extent of your orders yet, do you? How long you’ll be there and such? Not that I’m nosy or anything… 

Respond to emails whenever you can. I can breathe a sigh of relief now that I know you are state-side. I don’t have to worry so much about whether you are safe, which, again, is a relief. :) 

Keep me up-to-date on any opportunities you may have to come my way. I would offer to come your way, but I’m afraid I don’t have the funds to do so now. But, I am a patient woman, and I can wait until the stars align. I’d wait for you, Clyde. 

Continue to keep those cute ears safe,

Rey


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since you asked so nicely for an update, Heathyr...

**CORRESPONDENCES BETWEEN CLYDE LOGAN AND REY NIIMA -- CLYDE’S SECOND DEPLOYMENT TO IRAQ**

**From: Clyde Logan <clogan7@yahoo.com>**

**To: Rey Niima <rn807@nyu.edu>**

**Date: June 9, 2014**

**Subject: Re: Summertime And the Livin’s Easy**

Dearest Rey,

Well, it’s been a week since I last emailed you, and I apologize for that. We’ve been on training exercises in the Sierra Nevadas, and I’ve got to say, I’m really not digging this heat. Backpacking, hiking, orienteering, night missions… any other time I would be thrilled at being able to see the beauty and majesty of these mountains. But not in full gear. Hoofing it up the rock face of a mountain is not what I signed up for when I enlisted… 

I am also ashamed to say that no amount of ass-kissing has gotten me the leave I need to come see you. My unit is considered essential to Middle Eastern efforts, and there are rumors circulating we’ll be going back soon for three months. 

I hope to the Lord you know this isn’t a ruse I keep perpetuating to avoid meeting you. Despite my efforts, nothing seems to give. I blame the Curse, you know the one I told you about a few emails ago? It sounds crazy, I know, but I’m a firm believer. It’s crazier that it feels like I might as well be in Iraq again, with how close I can get to you. My heart aches to think that you’re so near, yet so far, and we only have emails to foster whatever this thing is between us. 

Please don’t take that as complaining. I know you’ve said not talking on the phone or Skyping adds to the mystery and the excitement. Sometimes, I’ll admit, it frustrates me. But then I realize you’re as much of an old soul as I am. And there’s something about meeting someone face-to-face for the first time without having heard their voice…

I think you’ll get a kick out of where my thoughts just went. Henry VIII and his wife Anne of Cleves. He got a portrait of her before he saw her in person to marry her. He thought she was beautiful based on her portrait. But then she arrived, and Henry felt disappointed because she didn’t look as she’d been described.

Okay… now that I’m reading that over again, I realize how that might sound. I’m not at all insinuating that that would happen when we meet. I think I’m a bit less of an asshole than Henry VIII. 

Now that I’ve firmly put my foot in my mouth… How's the internship going? I want to hear all about how you’re impressing the pants off of those aeronautical engineers or whatever. I know your last few months of school were challenging, but I hope you get to relax a little bit too. And learn all you can. 

Yours,

Clyde

* * *

**From: Rey Niima <rn807@nyu.edu>**

**To: Clyde Logan <clogan7@yahoo.com>**

**Date: June 15, 2014**

**Subject: Re: Re: Summertime And the Livin’s Easy**

First of all, Clyde Logan, I trust you enough to believe that you’re not pulling my leg. That you do want to meet me, but this isn’t the best time. And that’s okay! It’s not the best time for either of us, but I’m a believer in fate, and if that fickle bitch wants us to meet soon, she’ll make it happen. But until then, while sometimes emails don’t see enough, they’re enough for me. I will take any form of communication I can with you. Carrier pigeon, smoke signals… literally anything. 

Besides, it’s not like I’ve made any efforts to come see you. But in my defense, a broke college student doesn’t necessarily have the funds to make it across the country. 

I laughed out loud about poor Anne of Cleves. Don’t worry, I’m not insulted. And I know you’re one hundred times the man Henry VIII ever was. But seriously, poor Anne. At least she lived. What was with that guy and Katherine’s, by the way? He really loved his Katherine’s (different spellings, of course) and his Annes. 

Your training exercises do not sound at all enjoyable. Then again, the only landscape I’ve ever known was an urban one. I’ve never been camping or hiking or anything of the sort. Nor have I ever really had the inclination to do any outdoorsy things. Sleeping outside in the elements with bugs, spiders, and snakes? No thanks. So, my thoughts and prayers are with you…

By the way, do you know how Sadie did at her first competition? You mentioned it a few emails ago, but never followed up. She sounds super adorable, and she also sounds like she really loves her Auntie Mellie and Uncle Clyde. 

My internship is AMAZING. I am learning so much, Clyde. More practical skills than I’ve ever learned in class. The engineers I’m working with are so gracious, and they don’t mind me asking a lot of questions. They welcome them! I made the right decision to minor in Astronomy, the information is really coming in handy. They’ve shown me a lot of things. Maybe even some things they shouldn’t have… ANYWAY… NASA Goddard is just… an amazing experience. Remember when I emailed you when I got the acceptance? GAH, I still can’t believe my luck, you know? Already, my boss’s boss is talking a potential job position for me when I graduate!!!!!!! 

Please keep me updated on this rumor about being deployed again. I need to mentally prepare myself...

Love,

Rey

* * *

**From: Clyde Logan <clogan7@yahoo.com>**

**To: Rey Niima <rn807@nyu.edu>**

**Date: June 22, 2014**

**Subject: Re: Re: Re: Summertime And the Livin’s Easy**

Dearest Rey, 

Darlin, you saying you trust me means more to me than you know. And I wholeheartedly believe that we will meet. And when that day comes… well, I’m not sure what I’ll do. I’ll just be so overcome… 

I can’t believe I forgot to report back about Sadie’s competition! Mellie sent me a whole update. She placed second in the pageant. Apparently, she did some sort of dance for the talent part. You know my thoughts on beauty pageants for young kids, but I’ll support her no matter what. 

She’ll have another competition in the next six months, I think is what Jimmy said. Keep our fingers crossed for that one. So far, she hasn’t shown signs of falling victim to the Curse. Let’s keep it that way…

Rey, I can feel your happiness from here. I’m so glad you’re enjoying your internship. I’ll admit that I Googled NASA Goddard after you told me you got the position for the summer. I don’t know much about NASA and space travel, but what I can gather from the Internet, it seems like a very prestigious internship to have. You worked hard for that, Rey. You earned it. And they would be dumb not to give you a job. You’ll put the next rover on the moon, I know it.

Still haven’t heard more about the deployment rumor, but you can bet your bottom dollar I will tell you ASAP. 

By the way, WHEN we do get to meet, we’ll need to plan a camping trip. Used to do it all the time when I was kid. It was more of a hunting trip that involved camping out, but we can skip the hunting part. It’ll be fun. Just for a night, to start out slow. Then, if you like it, we can do a whole weekend or more. It really is a lot of fun. Get a fire going, cook marshmallows, stargaze… Like I said, it’ll be fun.

Yours,

Clyde

P.S. OH… and you’re talking to CORPORAL Logan, now. 

* * *

**From: Rey Niima <rn807@nyu.edu>**

**To: Clyde Logan <clogan7@yahoo.com>**

**Date: July 3, 2014**

**Subject: Happy 4th!!**

Clyde,

OMG YOU GOT THE PROMOTION CONGRATULATIONS ASDLKFJALDKJFALKJSL!!!!

I’m so happy for you! CORPORAL LOGAN sounds so… fancy! What does your new promotion entail exactly? Do you get to boss anyone around?

By the way, Happy early 4th of July! I know that I may have to voluntarily revoke my British citizenship for wishing you a happy 4th. Regardless, I hope you get to see some lovely fireworks, you ungrateful colonial! Rose, Hux, and I will do what we always do for the 4th… we drive out of the city, to New Jersey, and watch the fireworks over the harbor. It’s a gorgeous sight, especially with the Statue of Liberty at the forefront. It really brings tears to your eyes, thinking of the American Dream and how it’s become so skewed… Oh, here I go, you had me read fucking  _ The Great Gatsby _ and now I’m prattling on about it! 

I’m so glad to hear Sadie kicked ass. Based on what you’ve told me about her, it does not come as a surprise. She’s a Logan, after all, and despite what you think about a Logan Curse, I’d say you Logans are a badass lot. I’m just still sad it didn’t work out for Jimmy and Bobbie Jo. At least they’re somewhat amicable in raising Sadie together. Her new beau sounds like a bit of a douche though…

You know, it’s funny, because now that I’m at Goddard, it doesn’t feel as… prestigious? If that makes sense? Like, it is, don’t get me wrong, but now that I’m on the inside, it’s just normal, you know? The people are normal. Sure, most of them are super geniuses but still normal. We go out and have after-work drinks and we talk about our weekends and such. Next week, they’re going to let me shadow someone in a totally different department, just to see what they do. It’ll be sooooo cool. There’s a lot of experiments about biology and atmospheric anomalies… I don’t even know where to start! It’ll all be so fascinating to see. It’s the future!

Okay, for you, I will try ONE NIGHT of camping. BUT JUST ONE NIGHT! We’ll have to see how that goes before we move on to anything longer. I do like the sound of toasting marshmallows though. Can we be sure to get some chocolate and graham crackers to make s’mores? I’ll be bringing gallons of bug spray, okay. I’m not kidding about hating bugs, Clyde. You will witness a whole other side of me...

Love,

Rey

P.S. Did you really call me “darlin?” 

* * *

**From: Clyde Logan <clogan7@yahoo.com>**

**To: Rey Niima <rn807@nyu.edu>**

**Date: July 10, 2014**

**Subject: Re: Happy 4th!!**

Dearest Rey,

I did call you “darlin.” Do you not want me to? I’m sorry, I didn’t even think that you might not like that…

So, as a corporal, I’m a non-commissioned officer, which means that I could do some bossing around, but that’s mostly the sergeants’ job. I’ve got to make sure the guys I’m supervising keep their noses clean. If they don’t, my ass’ll get chewed out. The next rank up is sergeant. I don’t know if I’ll make it there before I get out, but we’ll see. 

I hope you enjoyed the display of fireworks over the Statue of Liberty and thought about the futility of the American Dream, and how unattainable opulence is, as well as how miserable it can be. You got to love  _ The Great Gatsby _ . We’re still going to sit down and watch the Robert Redford version. 

My 4th was uneventful. Me and the guys played some basketball, smuggled in some booze, and watched fireworks on TV. It’s hard to watch fireworks in person when you’ve been in a combat zone. Brings back memories a lot of us don’t really want to revisit. 

Sadie is a Logan, through and through. There’s no doubt about that. I’d say she’s got the best of all of us. She’ll lead the next generation, I tell ya. The last time I saw that kid, in person, she was a tiny thing. I can’t wait to get back home to see her again. 

Maybe you’ll get some nerdy scientist to tell you about what extended amounts of time in space will do to the human body. Do they even know what space and zero gravity can do to a human body? Just… do me a favor… When you find a handsome egghead at Goddard, let me down nice and gentle, okay? 

I PROMISE you, one night of camping only. And then I’ll leave it up to you to initiate any other nights of camping. But don’t you worry, I’ll make sure the bugs stay away from you. And the snakes, and spiders, and bears, and coyotes, and wolves, and…

Yours,

Clyde

* * *

**From: Rey Niima <rn807@nyu.edu>**

**To: Clyde Logan <clogan7@yahoo.com>**

**Date: July 17, 2014**

**Subject: Eggheads HAH**

Clyde,

No, you can call me ‘darlin’ it’s just… never mind. I like it. 

Wow, you sound important as a corporal. When I Google though, there’s a lot of discourse about how it’s the most useless non-com rank. XD You’re important to me, so… that’s that. 

I didn’t even think about you and fireworks. I cannot imagine… it must be so scary. We can talk about this more in person. We don’t need to have this conversation over email. <3

There is one section of your last email that really puzzled me, Clyde. Why would you think that I would push you aside for an ‘egghead?’ I don’t care for this self-deprecating side of you. We may have only communicated over email, but we’ve been talking for almost a year now. And in that year, I feel I have come to know you, granted that everything you’ve told me is true. I know it seems crazy to take things at face value, but there’s something about you that makes me completely believe and trust you. You’ve sent me pictures of you, and though they may be pictures, there is something in your eyes that comforts me. I’m in this until it ends, Clyde. Whenever that may be. And you’ve got to believe that I want to see this through. Wherever it goes. 

So there will be no more talk about me going for an ‘egghead.’ Besides, you don’t know these ‘eggheads,’ Clyde. They’re an interesting bunch… and also most of them are about twenty years my senior and married.

SPEAKING OF MY WORK… you know how I was going to be able to shadow some other departments? Well, I watched some biotech work being done. Can’t really say too much, but we’re talking artificial limbs and theoretically being able to wire those limbs to your nerves, and therefore into your brain. It’s so SciFi but there are people actually working on the science behind it. Truly extraordinary.

Love,

Rey

* * *

**From: Clyde Logan <clogan7@yahoo.com>**

**To: Rey Niima <rn807@nyu.edu>**

**Date: July 23, 2014**

**Subject: Re: Eggheads HAH**

Darlin,

We all have our hang ups, don’t we? Mine happens to be a bit of insecurity. Especially with a woman whom I’ve come to like. So very much. I just always assume the Logan Curse will work its evil magic, and I’ll lose you. It’s what happened in the 10th grade, when I wanted to ask Amy Dean to the homecoming dance. She said she would, but then when I picked her up, her father told me she’d been picked up by the captain of the basketball team. Needless to say, I didn’t make it to the homecoming game. 

I know, I know… I can imagine what you’re thinking right now. That I jinx my chances by assuming the “Curse” will prevail. You’re right, to some extent I do. To other extents, I don’t. I just… like I said, I really don’t want to lose you before I even meet you, you know? But I’m also not some psycho possessive kind of guy. If you meet someone that makes you happy, then I want you to be with that person. You deserve it. You deserve the world. 

Wow! Artificial limbs that can be hooked into your brain for movement? Definitely sounds like something out of  _ Terminator _ . Hopefully, if the science is successful, it won’t go the way of  _ Terminator _ . 

I’ll be bahck,

Clyde

* * *

**From: Rey Niima <rn807@nyu.edu>**

**To: Clyde Logan <clogan7@yahoo.com>**

**Date: August 2, 2014**

**Subject: Re: Re: Eggheads HAH**

Dearest Clyde,

I understand insecurities. Truly, I do. I’ve lived in so many foster homes over the years. Lost my parents at such a young age. I always assume that people will leave me. It’s only when I met Rose and Hux that I realized that isn’t true. However, it’s so ingrained in my DNA now that I sometimes still find myself thinking it. I’ve thought it about you, to be honest. That you would leave me without a word one day. Just not answer any of my emails, and that’ll be that.

This Curse deal really is a big thing for you, isn’t it? I get your reasoning why… you’ve explained the circumstances behind it. But you can’t live your life thinking what the Curse will do next. You’ve got to live too, or else life will be done one day, and you’ll regret having not lived it.

By the way, while I am a feminist as much as the next young millenial woman, the idea of you getting possessive over me? Even just a little? Mmmmmmm…

Hasta la vista, baby,

Rey

* * *

**From: Clyde Logan <clogan7@yahoo.com>**

**To: Rey Niima <rn807@nyu.edu>**

**Date: August 10, 2014**

**Subject: Re: Re: Re: Eggheads HAH**

Darlin,

If I could take all the hurt you’ve felt in your life, I would, Rey. I would gladly suffer it for you, if it meant you didn’t need to anymore. You mean a lot to me, and it kills me a little to know you’ve felt such pain. I will do my best not to think about the Curse anymore. Not to think about your past. Let’s just think about the future, and what it might or might not have in store for us? It seems like the proper course of action to take in our case, right? 

Besides, darlin, I promise you that I would never stop communicating with you. I would never just up and not answer you. Your emails are the thing I look forward to the most in my life right now, and without them I’d just be some other miserable asshole. 

Now… I’m by no means an expert, Miss Niima, but are you getting a little saucy with me? Because trust me, darlin, I may be a Southern Gentleman, but there are times when I can be very ungentleman-like. ;)

Yours, 

Clyde

* * *

**From: Rey Niima <rn807@nyu.edu>**

**To: Clyde Logan <clogan7@yahoo.com>**

**Date: September 13, 2014**

**Subject: Re: Re: School’s Back In**

Dearest Clyde,

School’s in full swing now. Senior year. The last year. And I’m already feeling the heat from my professors. But, on the plus side, I should hear from Goddard by November if I have a job with them when I graduate! 

How’s El Paso treating you this time? I know you were hella PIIISSSSEEDDD when you found out. Hopefully it’ll be a little more enjoyable. And hopefully, I can send another care package soon, and make it even more enjoyable for you. ;)

Hux proposed to Rose the other day! It really came as no surprise to anyone. Remember when I told you Hux asked me to go ring shopping with him? Well, he learned just how right I am when it comes to Rose. I helped him pick the perfect ring, and Rose LOVED it. I’m so happy for them. They truly make each other happy, and they’re going to get married and have beautiful engineer babies. 

Have I mentioned I’m absolutely stressed? 

They’re already sending emails about graduation, and making sure you’ve met all your program requirements, and yada yada. I’m so neurotic, but I’ve been quadruple checking every week that I’ve taken all the classes I need for my major and my minor. It’s starting to drive Rose crazy, but I’m so type A in that way. I need to know I’ve got it. And even then, when I see the evidence in front of me, I STILL need to check again!

I know we’re still a ways out, and a lot could happen between now and then, but might you consider coming to my graduation? Sure, I’ll have Rose’s parents and sister in the crowd, cheering me on, but it’d be nice to know you were there too. BUT PLEASE, don’t feel pressured! Just, if you can get the leave and you have the time, I’d love to have you there. :)

Love,

Rey

* * *

**From: Clyde Logan <clogan7@yahoo.com>**

**To: Rey Niima <rn807@nyu.edu>**

**Date: September 21, 2014**

**Subject: Re: Re: Re: School’s Back In**

Darlin,

I know it’s probably not my place, but reading your last email? I just… felt this swell of pride. Manly pride, even. I’m so damn proud of you, Rey Niima. You’re almost done. You’ve got a job pretty much in the bag. You’re living your dreams, and I can’t be happier for you. 

I will do everything in my power to try and make it to your graduation. I can’t make any promises, darlin, other than that I will try my damn hardest. I will be the loudest person in that room when you walk across the stage. 

God, I’m so proud… 

That’s awesome to hear about Hux and Rose! Tell them that Finn, Poe, me, and the rest of the boys all say congratulations! I know Poe and Finn greatly appreciate them both still sending letters and communicating. They’re both thrilled for them. We all are. We take the happy victories when we can get them. 

By the way, El Paso? Beyond all comprehension, it’s worse this time. I have no rhyme or reason or explanation as to how, but it’s the LITERAL WORSE.

The rumor mill is up and grinding again. Deployment is possible, just so you’re aware. But they claim it’d only be for three months this time. I swear to God, Rey, I’m getting out if/when we go and come back. I love the Army, but I think it’s time for us to part ways. 

Yours,

Clyde

* * *

**From: Rey Niima <rn807@nyu.edu>**

**To: Clyde Logan <clogan7@yahoo.com>**

**Date: October 1, 2014**

**Subject: NOT AGAIN**

Dearest Clyde,

Your pride in me means the world. Not many people have told me they were proud of what I’ve done, and what I’m doing. Your confidence in me and what I do has given me the jolt I needed to get motivated for this semester. It’s been A LOT. Almost too much. But before you fuss at me, I promise you I’m sleeping and eating and taking care of myself! You’ve gotten on me about that before, but I swear I’ve not lapsed!

In fact, it may shock you to hear that I went to THE GYM. GASP. I know, right? Rey Niima voluntarily going to the gym? But the workout was good, and it’s amazing how well I slept that night. WHAT A CONCEPT, RIGHT? 

By the way, thank you for saying you’d try to make it to my graduation. I know it’s a tall order, but I appreciate you trying. Even if you’re being deployed again which…

WTF?????

I don’t want you to go. I’ll be worrying about you on top of all of the homework I’ve got to worry about. But I know you’ve got to do what you’ve got to do. And I will just continue to be as supportive as I can, and send emails. Let’s hope that this deployment won’t get in the way of you potentially being able to come to my graduation. Fingers crossed!

Hux and Rose thank you all for the congratulations. They’re not in a rush to get married yet. They want to wait until after graduation, but Rose is already pondering venues and a dress. I’m betting they’ll get married in Rose’s hometown. That is my guess. She’s already asked me to be her maid of honor, which I was all too happy to accept. I’ve made some notes about what I’d want to put in my speech…

I am sorry to hear about your misery in El Paso. Surely, it will soon all be just a distant memory. Or, maybe not. Maybe you’ll want to purge it from your mind all together. XD

I’ve got to run. Lecture in about ten minutes. 

Love,

Rey

* * *

**From: Clyde Logan <clogan7@yahoo.com>**

**To: Rey Niima <rn807@nyu.edu>**

**Date: October 9, 2014**

**Subject: RE: NOT AGAIN**

Darlin,

Thank you for taking care of you. You may not be able to focus when I’m off in Iraq, but I can’t focus knowing you aren’t eating three squares and getting out of your dorm. So, in an effort to keep both of us sane… let’s just take care of ourselves? 

The official word came in today. We’ll be leaving sometime before Christmas for Iraq, and tentatively be coming back in mid to late March. They claim we’ll be there for three months this time. I hope they’re telling the truth. I really want to be back in time to make it to your graduation. 

Believe me when I say, Rey, that your emails will get me through this next deployment. 

You’re going to make a beautiful maid of honor. And you’ll knock your speech out of the park. But how about you worry less about that and more about your school work right now? We’ve got to make sure you make it to graduation. Not that you won’t, but just in case… 

I wish I could pinpoint exactly what it was about El Paso that makes it Satan’s asshole. But the heat and dryness of it just makes me irritable. There’s no cure for it. Unless you want to acquire a nuke? 

Just kidding… or am I? 

Yours,

Clyde

* * *

**From: Rey Niima <rn807@nyu.edu>**

**To: Clyde Logan <clogan7@yahoo.com>**

**Date: December 19, 2014**

**Subject: Safe Journey**

Dearest Clyde,

I can’t believe the last few months have flown so quickly. And that you’ll be setting out for Iraq tomorrow. I know I’ve said this in every email since you told me you were being deployed again, but… please be safe. I will miss you. I will worry over you, but as always I’m here to be supportive. Please tell me you got my care package? 

I know it’s a bit archaic… but historically, ladies would give their knights a token before they went into battle or took part in a joust. I retired my favorite t-shirt, and with Rose’s help sewed the graphic part of it into a quilted square. Basically my version of a handkerchief. You’ll like the subject matter of the t-shirt. :)

Speaking of care packages, I got yours! That was so sweet, thank you. I loved the little wrapped presents. You know the way to this girl’s heart, that’s for sure. Food will always get you a special place in my heart. Plus, I love the postcards of El Paso. If I hadn’t known before how much you disliked El Paso, I definitely know now. XD 

Please, take care of yourself over there, okay? Keep me updated as much as you can. I know it’ll be hectic when you get over there. I promise you, that I will keep up the self-care on my part, that way you have one less thing to worry about. 

Rose is wishing you all well too. I’m at her parents house, as always. We just finished a rowdy game of Apples to Apples. Let me tell you… it’s a step above playing Cards Against Humanity with parents, but Apples to Apples can get surprisingly vulgar too. It started snowing here in Connecticut. We’ve been playing outside all day. I love the snow. I know you definitely don’t get any of the white stuff in El Paso. 

At this point, I’m rambling on about anything and everything. I’m nervous. I just… I’m worrying a lot more than I did before and it’s a new feeling for me. 

Just… keep those adorable ears safe.

Love,

Rey

* * *

**From: Clyde Logan <clogan7@yahoo.com>**

**To: Rey Niima <rn807@nyu.edu>**

**Date: December 22, 2014**

**Subject: RE: Safe Journey**

Darlin,

These adorable ears made it to Iraq, safe and sound. We’re settling in to the same base and routine we had last time. It’s honestly not been bad. But then again, maybe it was because of my utter hatred of El Paso, and how I would’ve gladly taken ANYWHERE BUT THERE. 

We’ve started on our patrol rotation already, and really, the adjustment period has been nothing. We were here for 6 months so recently, that it almost feels like we never left. I don’t know whether to think that a good or a bad thing. 

I got your package before I left! Your token has been a pocket of my BDUs since I got here, and it won’t be going anywhere. I had a good chuckle when I opened the package and saw the words on your shirt. “If you don’t like tacos, I’m nacho type” with the little cartoon taco and nacho. If it hadn’t been your shirt, I would have immediately thought of you. I know how much you like food. And we’ve discussed, at length in the past, the perfect taco. I will keep your token on me at all times. It’ll keep me safe. 

I’m glad you liked the things I sent you! Merry Christmas, Rey. I hope that some time really damn soon, I could spend the holiday with you. 

I would die of embarrassment if I ever had the opportunity to play Cards Against Humanity with my folks. They’re Southern souls would’ve been scandalized by some of the cards. And I can’t imagine having to tell my mother what “bukake” meant. We’ve played CAH with some of the Brits that’re over here. I thought Americans could get nasty. The Brits were downright filthy. Can you explain that one to me?

Don’t worry too much about me, darlin. Remember, I want you taking care of yourself. If I have to worry about you while I’m here, it’ll make these three months feel like a lifetime. 

Yours,

Clyde

* * *

**From: Rey Niima <rn807@nyu.edu>**

**To: Clyde Logan <clogan7@yahoo.com>**

**Date: December 29, 2014**

**Subject: Re: Re: Safe Journey**

Dearest Clyde,

I can now breathe a sigh of relief knowing you made it. I’ve been stressing just thinking about my last semester coming up, and hearing this news has given me some relief. I’m ordering my textbooks right now, and getting my last few supplies together. I can’t believe my college career is coming to a close already. It seems only yesterday I met Rose on move-in day. But the future is looking pretty damn bright. I officially was offered the position at Goddard, and I’ve officially accepted. Knowing I’ll have a job when I graduate is also a relief. I can focus on finishing out the year strong, and not scrambling to find a job. Now I’ll have to scramble to find a place to live! And be a real adult! This is terrifying…

ANYWAY… I’m glad to hear the adjustment back to Iraq is fairly seamless. I know last time you were confined to base except for patrol. I hope you’re finding entertainment for yourselves. Or maybe you’re brushing up on your Middle East history again? What was the first major city in that region? Sumer? You should study cuneiform. It’d be a totally useful language to learn. XD

I’m not sure I’m allowed to discuss why us “Brits” are filthy minded folk. Maybe it’s because we act prim and proper, and it’s our only outlet from that? Or maybe it’s simply because our country wasn’t founded on puritanical values, and knows how to live a little? I admit, I snorted out loud reading ‘bukake.’ I can’t imagine having to explain that to one’s parents. 

Okay, pinky promise I will not worry overmuch about you, and I will continue to take care of myself so you are not distracted worrying about me. 

Why do we do this to ourselves again?

Love,

Rey

* * *

**From: Clyde Logan <clogan7@yahoo.com>**

**To: Rey Niima <rn807@nyu.edu>**

**Date: January 23, 2015**

**Subject: 1 Month Down**

Darlin,

Celebrate good times! One month in Iraq down. Two more to go. This month flew by, so here’s to hoping the rest of them will also fly by. 

How’s your senior project going? In your last email, it sounded like you wanted to pull your hair out. I hope you didn’t do that… though I’d like you even if you were bald. XD

I’ve put in for leave for May. I WILL be at your graduation, come hell or high water. My captain said it shouldn’t be a problem, but then again, we all know the military and that could change. But the chances look really good. I can’t wait to watch you walk across that stage and celebrate your hard work. 

Speaking of… we’ve had a bit of downtime so I looked more into trade schools back home and if there’s any pre-reqs. Doesn’t appear to be any, so it’s just a matter of applying, which I’ve started. The online application’s real easy, so I’ve been working on it a bit each time I get access to a computer. 

It’s nice… my time in Iraq and the Army are winding down, and I’m making plans. Not to mention, making some plans with you. It thrills me more than I can say. I’ve never had anyone but my siblings to make plans with. 

That being said, please keep yourself fed and hydrated.

Yours,

Clyde

* * *

**From: Rey Niima <rn807@nyu.edu>**

**To: Clyde Logan <clogan7@yahoo.com>**

**Date: January 31, 2015**

**Subject: Re: 1 Month Down**

Dearest Clyde,

I’m glad this month has flown for you, because it’s felt like an eternity for me. Then again, I’m not in a combat zone, so I can’t really complain. 

My project is going… as well as can be? I think? I don’t even know. And I won’t know until the end of the semester when final grades are due, and I’m biting my nails, thinking that I won’t have passed this class, and therefore can’t graduate. BUT IT’S ALL FINE! I’M FINE, CLYDE, TRULY! 

I do feel slightly better knowing that there is a high chance you’ll be at my graduation! It gets my rear in gear to make sure I DO pass this class. No matter how many times I assume I’m going to fail. 

I’m so proud of you for looking into schools! My offer still stands that if you need me to do anything for you… let me know! If you need me to do some more research, or help you write a resume, or a cover letter, or personal statement… I’m your girl! 

Awww, Clyde. I’ve never really thought about it like that. But you’re right… we’re both making plans. Making moves, whatever. And we’ve even made some plans together. Come to think of it, I’ve not made plans with anyone other than Rose. I like making plans with you. Camping, movies, a tour of NYC… I’ll take anything and everything that involves you. 

Love,

Rey

* * *

**From: Clyde Logan <clogan7@yahoo.com>**

**To: Rey Niima <rn807@nyu.edu>**

**Date: February 14, 2015**

**Subject: Happy Valentine’s Day!**

Darlin,

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY! I’m attaching a hilarious Valentine meme that I thought you’d find funny. Do you have any plans for this holiday of love? That last sentence was mostly sarcasm. You’ve said before, in a previous email, how much you HATE the idea of Valentine’s Day. XD I find that aspect of you adorable.

Almost another month down! The time truly is flying, and it flies faster and faster with every email response I get from you. Know what? Because it’s another email… another day closer to being able to finally see you. If you asked Poe or Finn, they’d tell you how annoyed they’ve been with me over the past few weeks because of how much I’ve been talking about it. 

We just came back from a patrol and I made a new friend. I’m not sure what his real name is, but in my head, I named him Humphrey, because… he’s a camel. Get it? HUMPhrey, hehehehhe. Anyway, a local was out with a couple of his children, and they were carrying things home from the market. I kind of wish I could have a camel, but I’m not sure it’d be feasible. Those things are taller than I thought they’d be. And I’m a giant…

Yours,

Clyde

_ Attachment: <valentinememe.jpg (85k)> _

_ _

* * *

**From: Rey Niima <rn807@nyu.edu>**

**To: Clyde Logan <clogan7@yahoo.com>**

**Date: February 16, 2015**

**Subject: Re: Happy Valentine’s Day!**

Dearest Clyde,

I can’t believe you remember my rant about Valentine’s Day! Of course, it could be coming from a place of bitterness at never having had anyone to share it with. But also, why not show your love and affection for your person every other day of the year. Why does it have to be THIS day? It’s a ruse. So florists, candy companies, and condom companies can get their money. 

That all being said, I actually had a Valentine saved to send you as well. As a fellow history appreciator, I figured you’d like it. XD I love the Dante one. Should have included purgatory too.

Now that I’m just more than halfway through with my senior project, the time is truly passing quicker. Rose and I have begun our victory lap of things to do at school before we graduate. Granted, we’ll both be in the city still, and we’ll see each other often, it’s still the end of an era. Or rather an end to a very meaningful part of both of our lives. Though we’re going in similar directions, and we’ll still be in the same city, it’s kind of bittersweet. I won’t see her EVERYDAY, you know?

BUT… IMPORTANTLY… we are days and days closer to your return from overseas, and I am so excited. And also a bit nervous. I know we both will be, but something tells me we won’t be nervous for long. 

Be safe, Clyde, keep those adorable ears protected.

Love, Rey

_ Attachment: <frvalmeme.jpg (100k)> _

_ _

* * *

**From: Clyde Logan <clogan7@yahoo.com>**

**To: Rey Niima <rn807@nyu.edu>**

**Date: March 18, 2015**

**Subject: Going Radio Silent**

Darlin,

DAYS… WE ARE DAYS AWAY FROM LEAVING. At times, it never felt like this day would come, but at other times, it flew. Iraq’s been a hell of an experience I’ll never forget… or regret, oddly enough. Not that I had a choice with this particular experience. 

I’m going to be going radio silent for the next few days. Just like last time. We’ve got one last patrol, latrines to clean, rooms to clean… got to prepare base for the next group. When I’m back in the States, I’ll let you know.

I promise you, I will be safe. I’ve kept your token with me, and it has kept the Curse at bay. Continue to keep yourself safe, darlin, that way we’ll all be in one piece when we see each other. I’m still nervous about it too, but… more than anything, I’m thrilled. 

You are something special, Rey Niima. And I’ll be the luckiest guy to have met you. 

Yours always,

Clyde

* * *

**From: Rey Niima <rn807@nyu.edu>**

**To: Clyde Logan <clogan7@yahoo.com>**

**Date: March 22, 2015**

**Subject: Re: Going Radio Silent**

Dearest Clyde,

I know you are in the midst of cleaning, and probably getting ready to head to the airport. GAH, you finally get to come home. And you’ll be getting out in a few months. You’ll be starting a new life up back home. We’ll have met… I can’t even imagine how much our lives will change. And so soon! 

I’m almost done with my senior project. In fact, I’ll be turning it in soon. I’ll be happy to have that garbage off my chest. Only a couple more hurdles to jump over until May! 

I hope your plane ride is smooth and swift, and get back to me whenever you can!

Love,

Rey

* * *

**From: Rey Niima <rn807@nyu.edu>**

**To: Clyde Logan <clogan7@yahoo.com>**

**Date: March 25, 2015**

**Subject: Fwd: Going Radio Silent**

Dearest Clyde,

I know you’ve got to be busy as hell, being back in the States and adjusting. Just a quick email would put my worrying mind to ease. Sorry if this comes off as… I dunno… obsessive? I just need to know you’re safe.

Love,

Rey

* * *

**From: Rey Niima <rn807@nyu.edu>**

**To: Clyde Logan <clogan7@yahoo.com>**

**Date: April 3, 2015**

**Subject: Please**

Clyde,

You’ve officially got me worried, Clyde Logan. I haven’t heard from you in well over a week, which is not like you. Please tell me you immediately had to go into a training exercise or something when you got back and that’s why you haven’t responded??

Love,

Rey

* * *

**From: Rey Niima <rn807@nyu.edu>**

**To: Clyde Logan <clogan7@yahoo.com>**

**Date: April 9, 2015**

**Subject: Fwd: Please**

Clyde,

Please. Please tell me you’re okay. I haven’t been able to find any information. The Army won’t say anything because I’m not family. I’ve looked over casualty lists, and don’t see your name. Therefore, I’m assuming you’re still alive, and are capable of responding to an email.

Please Clyde. I’m worried sick. 

Love,

Rey

* * *

**From: Rey Niima <rn807@nyu.edu>**

**To: Clyde Logan <clogan7@yahoo.com>**

**Date: April 25, 2015**

**Subject: Fwd: Fwd: Please**

  
You told me you’d never do this to me. You  **promised** me.


	4. Chapter 4

_ Goddard Space Flight Center; New York City, New York - 2019 _

“Hey, Niima, you got a minute?”

Rey glanced up from a technical drawing she’d been pouring over for the last thirty minutes. Flicking back a lock of hair that had fallen into her face, she smiled at Rose Tico-Hux, her best friend for the past eight years. 

“Always have a minute for you. What’s up?” Rey asked.

Rose ambled over, sitting next to Rey’s desk in the one visitor chair she was afforded. Rose sat, primly smoothing her skirt as she did, and then folded her hands in her lap. Rey recognized what was happening. Rose was preparing her thoughts before dropping a bomb on her. It’s always how it happened. Not that Rey could complain. Well organized thoughts and words when given hellish news can most of the time soften the blow. 

“So, you know how I’ve been working on the prosthetic limb prototypes?” Rose asked.

Rey nodded. At NYU, Rose had specialized in biomechanical engineering, which is how they’d met, as engineering majors. 

“Yeah, sure, your senior thesis was what got you hired here. Have you had a breakthrough?”

“Well, sort of. We’re looking to find candidates for trials soon. We’ve been recommended a few, based on several factors. My department wants us to meet and speak to these people personally, tell them about the process and what they would expect, etcetera. So, I’ve got to road trip for a few days. I was wondering if you’d want to come with me? My boss said he’d talk to yours to BS about interdepartmental effort or something like that. You could help with the mechanics and I could focus on the bio part, blah blah. What d’ya say?”

Rey listened intently. Knowing her best friend as she did, there was something else to this road trip than just wanting Rey’s company. It was evident in the way Rose avoided eye contact, and fiddled with her fingers in her lap. 

“Uh huh… you want  _ me _ to go with you to assist in convincing someone to participate in an upcoming clinical trial for a prosthesis that would connect to their nervous system. And how am I qualified to help you?” Rey shot Rose a skeptical look.

“Well, I mean… we’re trying to foster interdepartmental cooperation, and the general mechanics of the arm is part of  _ your _ senior thesis of arm movements on planetary rovers. So, it seemed prudent to invite you along.” Rose shrugged, still unable to look Rey in the eye. 

“Okay…” Rey drew out the syllables. “When would we be leaving? How long will we be gone? Where are we going?” 

“Thursday, and we’ll be driving a company car. We’ll be gone for about a week, and we’re going down south.” 

“Down south?” Rey quirked an eyebrow.

“Yeah. M’gonna keep you guessing. Part of the fun,” Rose grinned, dark eyes crinkling slightly in mirth as she finally met Rey’s eyes. 

“Uh huh…” Rey intoned, skeptical.

“So does that ‘uh huh’ mean you’ll come with me?” 

Rey sighed, setting down her pencil to rub at her temple to ease the tension there. 

“Sure.”

Rose clapped her hands together and shot up from the chair. 

“Yes! Awesome! It’ll be great to work together on something  _ and _ it’ll be good for you to get away from the office. You haven’t gone on a work trip in a while. Or really any kind of trip… It’ll be fun!”

“Is Hux going to be okay with this impromptu girls’ trip?” Rey grinned teasingly, picking up her pencil again. 

“I mean, he’s going to have to be. It’s a  _ work _ trip,” Rose said, as if it was the most obvious thing. “Besides, I’m sure he’ll be happy to have the apartment to himself for a few days. And he won’t be anywhere near us  _ chatty _ girls. So, again, a good break for him.” 

Rey laughed. Armitage Hux, Rose’s husband, had been one of Rey’s best friends since their NYU days. Rey and Hux had bonded over being displaced in America, as he was from Ireland and she from the United Kingdom. 

“Anyway… thanks, Rey. I didn’t particularly want to go by myself, but this will be a good thing! We get to get out of the city for a bit, talk shop, see other parts of the US. It’ll be great!”

Rey sure hoped so.

~*~

_ Duck Tape; Boone County, West Virginia - 2019 _

The bar was unusually busy, even for a Thursday night. Clyde was grateful for the business, though, and busy always meant time ticked by all the faster. 

Joe Bang and Mellie sat at a corner booth, flirting, which always made Clyde want to puke. Not that he particularly disapproved of the pair. Mellie could take care of herself, and he supposed Joe Bang wasn’t  _ exactly _ a terrible person. It was just pure eyefucking on both their parts and Clyde just wished they’d do it and get it over with. Preferably not in his place of business. 

Jimmy and Sylvia sat at the bar, perched on stools, conversing in low tones with their heads huddled close. 

Even Sam and Fish were chatting up a pair of ladies who did not look appalled by them. Would wonders never cease… 

Letting out a forlorned sigh, Clyde started wiping down the beat-up wood of the bar countertop. 

It had been four years since Iraq. Four years since his life was altered beyond measure. Four years since he last contacted Rey. There had been so many times Clyde had opened an email only to discard it before sending. There had been so many times he’d look disgustedly at his remaining hand, barely able to type.

After months of mustering any kind of nerve, Clyde just… let her go. The frantic emails from Rey stopped, and rightfully so. He had promised her he’d never abandon her like others in her life. 

He’d broken that promise. 

Clyde had long ago convinced himself it was for her own benefit. Rey was the embodiment of light and all that was good, and the last thing she needed was some backwoods hick from West Virginia with one arm and a curse to drag her down. 

It had been two years since the heist. Two years since Jimmy procured his new prosthesis. It worked fine, better than the last. It had been two years since he met Sarah Grayson. Only to find out Sarah had been the FBI agent that investigated the heist. She’d admitted as much, after they’d dated for six months, even spilled about how she’d suspected the Logans having a hand in it. Clyde would have been okay with it all… if she hadn’t gone back to the Bureau. To New York City. 

Leaving Clyde painfully alone. Again.

Which was ridiculous, considering he was  _ far _ from alone. He had Jimmy, Mellie, and even got to see his niece, Sadie, occasionally. He liked that she’d hung up her tiara in favor of cooking classes, and have become quite the young chef. Fuck, Clyde would even consider Joe Bang a part of his life now. Being in prison with someone  _ and _ working a heist with them certainly had a way of bringing people together. 

The front door creaked open, letting in a seasonally cool Fall breeze. Clyde didn’t pay the newcomers much mind. The hostess would take care of seating them. 

“I think we’ll take a spot at the bar, thanks,” he heard a female voice say. 

“Sounds good. Just let your bartender know if you’d like any food,” the hostess, Emma, said. 

The two newcomers took two seats a few stools down from Jimmy and Sylvia, the stool legs scraping lightly across the hardwood floor as they pulled themselves up.

Clyde finished wiping down the stretch of bar top he’d been working on, and turned, shuffling over to the two young women. Their heads were bent over menus, and didn’t notice his approach. He casually leaned against the nearby corner, resting his hip and elbow, as he focused his attention on the closest woman.

“What’ll it be, darlin’?” 

The woman, a brunette dressed in a pair of jeans and a NYU hoodie, stiffened. She looked up from her menu, and Clyde swayed on his feet, suddenly feeling lightheaded. 

Hazel hues locked with whiskey brown. Time stood still. Silence fell around them. The rest of the bar fell away for a millisecond or for a millenium, who knew? The air between them seemed to come to life, crackling with static, humming with some unnameable energy.

The woman looked about as stunned as he must, never expecting to see the other in the flesh. 

“Bloody hell, you tosser, you’re alive,” Rey Niima, the subject of his thoughts and recurring dreams, blurted. 

Funny, those words seemed familiar, but Clyde couldn’t place them. 

_ Well, this is awkward _ . 

“Rey…” He breathed. 

Clyde can see the muscles of Rey’s jaw working, and a little vein beneath one of her eyes twitched. She looked ready to explode. 

The elbow he’d rested on the nearby corner of the bar slipped, causing him to fumble for a minute before righting himself. 

“I cannot believe…” 

If this were any other moment in time, Clyde would revel in the smoothness of Rey’s British accent, realizing she sounded like he’d always imagined she would. Despite the situation, he couldn’t help but take a moment to process the way her voice sounded. The rich tones and the way her lips moved to form her words. He’d spent so many years wondering what it would be like to hear her voice. No fantasy compared to the real thing. 

“Rey, I--” He began, his head half hanging in shame.

“No. I don’t care,” Rey gritted through clenched teeth before turning to her companion. “Rose, we need to go. We need to go now.”

Before Clyde or her friend, Rose, could protest, Rey slid off of the stool and stormed toward the door.

Rose looked back to Clyde with a sheepish half-grin, and hopped down from her stool. Before Rose got too far, Clyde hopped over the bar with ease, and used his long-legged stride to cross the distance to the door. 

Shoving the door wide, he didn’t stop to keep it from slamming against the side of the building. Luckily, Earl was there to catch it. 

“Thanks, Earl,” he muttered, not breaking stride. 

Rey had stopped in the middle of the parking lot, standing rigid with her arms at her sides and her fists balled, trying to collect herself. 

“Rey,” Clyde called out, coming to a stop a couple of yards behind her. “I’m so sorry, darlin’.” 

Rey whirled around, her hazel eyes ablaze, illuminated in the light of the street lamps. 

“ _ Don’t _ call me that,” she hissed. “You  _ do not _ get to call me that after  _ four fucking years _ of thinking you were either dead or you just didn’t give a shit about me!”

Behind them, Rose burst out onto the deck at the Duck Tape’s entrance, looking on at the scene unfolding in the parking lot. Silently, Rose looked over, spotting Earl, who held a hand out toward the empty rocking chair beside him. Rose sat, tempted to ask Earl for a cigarette.

Clyde deserved the venom in Rey’s words. He deserved that and more for what he’d done. 

“You’re right, Rey. I shouldn’t call you that. I don’t deserve to,” Clyde admitted. 

Even in the dimly illuminated darkness of the Fall evening, Clyde could see Rey’s eyes glossy with unshed tears. His heart wrenched at the realization that he’d caused that, wrenched at the visual evidence of Rey’s pain. He’d spent so many years wanting to see her in person and not through photographs and emails, but he’d never have wanted to see her like this. 

“You’re damn right you don’t,” she said, less malice in her voice this time, but thick with emotion. “Four years and not a single word. Do you know the thoughts that have run through my head, Clyde? All the horrible scenarios I’ve cooked up wondering what had happened to you?” 

Clyde swallowed, his jaw working, attempting to stem the tide of his own emotions and the sting of tears in his eyes. 

“Rey,” Clyde began. “There’s nothing I can say that’ll make this right.” 

Rey let out a derisive laugh, and lifted a hand to swipe away the tears that escaped. “No shit, Clyde.”

“But you deserve an explanation.” 

“Damn right I do,” Rey bit back. 

Clyde held up his right arm, showing off the mechanical prosthetic. In the shock and chaos of this chance meeting, Rey hadn’t noticed. Clyde watched as her eyes widened and filled with the exact emotion he’d not wanted to see on her face.

_ Pity _ .

“Oh Clyde,” she breathed, forgetting her anger for a moment, taking a few steps towards him to close the distance a little. 

“This isn’t an excuse,” Clyde said.

“What happened?” Rey asked. 

“We were on our way to the airfield. An IED hit our convoy.” 

“Poe? Finn? Snap?” 

“They’re alive. A little worse for wear, like me, but alive. I just saw them last month, actually.” Clyde replied. 

Rey heaved a sigh of relief.

“I woke up in a field hospital to my arm missin’, amongst other injuries. A few days later they transferred me to Germany. I…” Clyde trailed off, at a loss for words. He shook his head, a single, ebony lock falling in his face. Clyde quickly brushed it aside. 

“You should’ve told me,” Rey said, voice urgent as if they could go back in time to fix this. 

“I know I should have, Rey,” Clyde replied, his eyes soft as they met her gaze.

“Why?” She sniffed, furiously brushing away errant tears. “Why didn’t you respond?” 

Clyde swallowed thickly. He couldn’t immediately answer. His lips mashed together, trying to think of the right words to use. But there really weren’t any. None that would make this situation right. 

He took a step back, a step away from her. 

“You deserve better than me, Rey,” he began. His voice softened, dropping nearly to a whisper. “You deserve someone whole.” 

Heat bled into Rey’s eyes, and not the kind he’d love to see there. No, pure anger, near rage.

“You are pulling my leg?” She growled. “How on God’s green Earth can you say that?”

Clyde blinked, surprised. “Well… because I’m missing an arm? An essential element to being?”

Rey was quiet, before she burst into more humorless laughter. “Oh my God…” 

“What?” It was his turn to grumble, almost insulted.

“Clyde Logan,” Rey began, laughter dying on her lips, head shaking from side to side. “How long has it been since you lost your arm?”

“Four years,” he replied slowly. 

“Right… and that’s four years you’ve learned to live without it” Rey motioned to the mechanical prosthesis. “How long have you tended the bar here?”

Clyde thought for a moment. “Well… about three?” 

Rey’s lips twitched, nearly blooming into a smile. “You’ve been living without your arm for four years, and bartending for three. Having your arm is clearly not an essential element to being.” 

Clyde opened his mouth to argue, but Rey held her hand up, and his words died in his throat. 

“You know… I was hurt deeply when you ghosted me, Clyde. I’d like to think that’s not why I’m so angry anymore. I’m miffed because you made a decision for me, before you even  _ asked _ me.”

Rey quieted, and Clyde didn’t try to say anything. Silence fell except for the night insects croaking away in the nearby woods. 

“If you’d just  _ talked _ to me about it?” Rey started again. “You know what I would’ve wanted? I still would’ve wanted you at my graduation. I still would’ve wanted to show you the city. I still would’ve sat down with you to watch Robert Redford in  _ The Great Gatsby _ . But you didn’t ask. Didn’t  _ talk _ to me about it.” 

Tears flowed down Rey’s cheeks, and Clyde would’ve ripped off his other arm for her if it meant she didn’t hurt anymore.

“You know, for someone who came off so intelligently in their letters, you’re pretty damn thick, Clyde Logan.” Rey leaned sideways, enough to spot Rose behind them. “Rose? Can we go back to the motel now?”

With that, Rey turned on her heel, and Clyde let her go.

~*~

Rey remained silent the short car ride back to the Roundtable Motel, the closest lodgings to their candidate, as Rose had said. 

Rose pulled the standard black governmental SUV in front of their room, and cut the engine. Neither of them moved. 

“You knew, didn’t you?” Rey asked softly. 

Rose didn’t answer right away, which confirmed Rey’s suspicions.

“It’s why you wanted me here. Because the candidate for the trial is Clyde.”

Rose nodded, unable to find the ability to say anything to ease her friend. 

Rey sighed, scrubbing her palm down her face. “I don’t have the energy to be angry anymore,” she said, then hopped out of the SUV. Stepping up to the door to their shared room, Rey used the extra keycard they’d been given to access the room. She didn’t bother taking her clothes off. She toed out of her Converse, and climbed onto the bed she’d claimed earlier. Turning on her side, Rey burrowed into the comforter and pillows, keeping her back to Rose’s bed. 

Sleep did not come for Rey Niima. 

Instead, Rey listened to Rose’s movements from the time she finally came in from the car to when she settled in bed for the night. At some point, Rose had stepped outside, and Rey could just make out her muffled voice. No doubt talking to Hux. Rey wondered for a moment if Hux had known what was happening. 

On the one hand, she had a treacherous friend who lured her on a business trip under false pretenses to reunite her with this guy she’d written emails to for two years. 

On the other hand, she had the guy she’d written emails to for two years, who’d purposefully ghosted her because he thought she’d not want to be with him and his missing. 

What fucking  _ Twilight Zone  _ episode had she stepped in to?

Rose had come back into the room, shuffling quietly around before Rey heard the creak of the other bed as Rose climbed in. Rey strained to listen as her friend’s breathing evened and slowed. 

Rey lay there for another few minutes, making sure Rose truly slept. When she was convinced, Rey quietly rolled from the bed, shoved the spare key into her jeans pocket, and stepped outside into the night. 

Boone County was quiet, vastly different from the city. Clyde had said as such in his emails. How Rey had not seen the welcome sign on their way in, she wasn’t sure. Rose had probably distracted her from spotting it. Way to be blindsided… 

Rey ambled around the parking lot, and stopped at one point to get a snack from the vending machines in the front office. They had arrived in town late, checked out their room, and went to the bar at the suggestion of the front desk clerk. They hadn’t gotten a chance to eat, and Rey’s stomach revolted. 

Back outside in the crisp night air, she continued the small circuit around the lot, munching on a bag of Cheetos. 

Clyde Logan was alive. 

Clyde Logan was alive and hadn’t bothered to let her know. 

Clyde Logan was alive and hadn’t bothered to let her know for four years. 

Clyde Logan was alive and hadn’t bothered to let her know for four years out of some misplaced chivalry. 

Anger wriggled in her gut again, souring the Cheetos. 

Sucking in a few deep, steadying breaths of the cool mountain air, Rey sat on the curb by the SUV. Tipping her head back, Rey marvelled at all the stars. Stars weren’t exactly visible in the city, not with light pollution. Stars filled the sky here in Boone County, and Rey couldn’t remember seeing so many since she’d left England. 

The fresh air and vastness of the night sky offered a bit of clarity. In all of her anger and frustration, Rey understood. 

She understood why Rose convinced her to come along. Rose’s intentions, albeit a little misguided, had been only for Rey’s happiness. And God, how Rose had been her shoulder for all the times Rey had sobbed at the loss of the friend she’d made. The something-more she’d made. No doubt Rose saw how unhappy she was then, and how unhappy she was now, and took action to bring change. 

She understood why Clyde ghosted her four years ago. Clyde’s intentions, albeit a little shortsighted, had been only for Rey’s happiness. He’d truly felt that she deserved a man with all of his limbs, but didn’t think about what  _ Rey _ wanted. Perhaps he had done it for himself too, to protect himself from heartache. Maybe he’d thought Rey would reject him, and he would yet again become another casualty to the Logan Curse. 

“Fuck that curse,” Rey muttered to the chilled air. 

Of course, there was also the matter of their first encounter. Before the chaos, before she’d known she would come face to face with him, Clyde Logan stood across from her and uttered those words.

Absently, Rey rubbed at her left wrist. 

_ What’ll it be, darlin’? _

Out of all the bars Rey had been to since turning 21, no bartender had ever addressed her in such a fashion. Not to mention the effect the words had after he’d spoken them. Rey had read and heard numerous accounts of soulmates hearing their words. They talked about a warmth that surrounded them. About how the world disappeared, leaving just the two of them. About voices echoed in each other’s heads, speaking their words. 

Rey had felt those sensations, and many others she couldn’t put to words. Any sociologist would say it was a textbook meeting of soulmates. At least, as textbook as the sociology class she’d taken at NYU made it seem. 

_ Clyde Logan was her soulmate _ .

The funny thing? She wasn’t even  _ surprised _ . It was as if a part of her had known even before they met face-to-face. Though they had only communicated through written word, there had been such an intense connection between them. Or so she believed. 

If there was something Rey had learned from people in her life it was that there were many possibilities when it came to soulmates. You could have none, like the nuns in the orphanage who had been born with no soulmark. You could have multiple, with different sets of soulmarks. You could meet your soulmate, and they aren’t yours in return, possessing someone else’s words on their wrist. 

There was no guarantee she was Clyde’s soulmate. 

So long ago, they both had agreed to not talk about soulmates and soulmarks. Neither had revealed what their marks said. Rey had preferred it that way. It was refreshing to not immediately have a conversation about such things, and it just seemed natural to never talk about it. 

Rey was an orphan. She was used to feeling displaced. Used to people coming in and out of her life. The idea of finding her soulmate had seemed like a fleeting fancy. How could the little orphan girl ever be successful in that endeavor? Why should  _ she _ find happiness? 

_ Happiness _ . 

There was no guarantee of that with your soulmate either, it seemed. In one of their many correspondences, Clyde had spoken of his brother, Jimmy, marrying his high school sweetheart, Bobbi Jo. They’d married and had a child, Sadie, but their personalities grew to clash. And they divorced… despite the fact they were each other’s soulmates. 

The coolness of the Fall night permeated through her hearty NYU sweatshirt and drove her back inside the motel room. Rose did not stir at Rey’s return. Again, she didn’t bother to undress. This time, though, she climbed beneath the thin comforter and sheets, seeking warmth. 

Sleep didn’t come immediately. Instead, her mind continued to process, churning over all that had occurred. Eventually, her eyes slipped shut, and she slumbered.

~*~

Clyde woke the next morning, long onyx hair askew, Bob Seger shirt rumpled. He’d had a restless night of sleep due to Rey’s appearance and the nightmares he just can’t shake. Mellie had had to wake him around 3 a.m., concerned over his muffled shouting. 

Since completing his time in prison, Mellie had insisted Clyde move in with her, instead of living alone. She had taken it upon herself to mother hen her brothers. While he appreciated splitting utilities and giving Mellie rent money, Clyde had to admit he liked being close to his sibling again. There’d been many a night where Mellie had found him sitting at her kitchen table, damp with sweat, eating a bowl of cereal. She’d grab a bowl for herself, sit with him, and not ask. Clyde valued that. He’d rather not discuss the nightmares. 

After a long, hot shower, Clyde emerged from his room freshly dressed, hair combed and ready to attack whatever the day had for him.

“Don’t forget about your appointment with the arm scientist today,” Mellie reminded him, as he stepped into the kitchen for breakfast. Though it was nearly mid-day, having slept as long as he could after his late shift, Clyde  _ loved _ breakfast foods. Any time of the day. 

“Oh hell,” Clyde muttered. In the events of the previous evening, he’d forgotten all about his meeting. 

A letter had arrived in the mail a month ago about a clinical trial involving prosthetic limbs. In the note, they said he’d been pegged as a candidate through his records with Veterans Affairs. A couple of days after that, he’d gotten a phone call. 

“It’s no pressure, we’d just like to discuss what the trial would look like,” the man on the other end of the phone had said. “You don’t need to feel obligated to do this. Feel free to say no.” 

Clyde being Clyde, figured it wouldn’t hurt to hear them out, but would more than likely turn down the offer. He was content with the limb Jimmy had procured for him through the VA. 

“You’ve got about an hour and a half before you’re supposed to meet at Boone Memorial. You want me to go with you?” Mellie asked. 

Clyde shrugged. “Up to you.” He found his mind preoccupied with thoughts of Rey. Of tracking her down, wherever she may be staying, and finishing the conversation they’d started last night. He felt it far from over. 

“I’ll come with you,” Mellie declared. “Even if you’re just listenin’ to them talk, this is still a big deal. It’s completely your decision what you want to do, but… you know I’ll have an opinion.” 

Clyde huffed. “Yes, I know you will.”

“And you know whatever decision you make, I will support you?”

Clyde nodded. “I know, Mellie. Thank you.”

An hour and change later, a receptionist at the welcome desk of Boone Memorial Hospital pointed Clyde and Mellie toward the administrative wing where they were to meet with the NASA scientists. 

In hindsight, Clyde should have known who he would come face-to-face with in that meeting room. Rey was a damn engineer, had been thrilled when she got the job with Goddard, so of  _ course _ she would be involved with this revolutionary technology. The woman she’d come to the bar with was also in the room, setting up the projector and computer. 

Rey’s eyes lifted, and their gazes met. She didn’t look surprised, just resolved. Resolved to get through the next couple of hours. Would being in his presence really be that bad? Her eyes fell away from his and back to a thick file she paged through. 

“Hi, you must be Clyde Logan! Funny how we ran into each other last night,” The other woman greeted. She may be convincing to Mellie, about a chance run-in, but Clyde could read between the lines. She had known more than she let on. “I’m Rose Tico-Hux. You can just call me Rose.” Rose was beautiful. Dark hair falling in waves past her shoulders, deep brown almond shaped eyes were intelligent and friendly, and she wore a smart but elegant pant suit.

Clyde’s eyebrows rose, holding out his hand to shake hers. “Rose?  _ The _ Rose? I’ve heard so much about you.”

A glance in Rey’s direction revealed her cheeks flushing slightly. 

“Oh?” Rose looked pleased.

Clyde nodded. “Rey used to talk about you all the time in her emails.” 

Mellie perked up at this. “Wait. Rey?”

"That would be me,” Rey finally spoke, standing and rounding the conference table. She held her hand out to Mellie. “Rey Niima. You must be Mellie. It’s nice to meet you.” For a moment, the sight of Rey stunned Clyde. She was gorgeous all the time, but in her professional wear she looked stunning  _ and _ driven. Her chestnut brown hair fell to just past her chin, waves framing her face. She wore black, form fitting slacks with heels, and a white ruffled blouse. 

Mellie grinned, gladly shaking Rey’s hand. “You’re prettier than I imagined you’d be.” 

Rey blinked at Mellie’s bluntness. “Um… thank you?”

“Your accent is divine.” 

“Thanks.” 

“I’m so sorry my brother’s an idiot asshole.”

Clyde went wide-eyed. Rey choked. “I wouldn’t say he’s--”

“It’s okay. He’s smart, but also dumb.” 

Clyde felt his face heat, redness creeping down his neck and up to his ears. Thankfully those were covered by his mane of hair. 

“Right…” Rey let go of Mellie’s hand, shuffling awkwardly back to her seat. 

“Please, won’t you sit down?” Rose interjected, offering Clyde the seat at the head of the table, which he took. Mellie sat in the seat to his right, while Rose took the seat to his left. 

“How is the rest of your unit?” Rose asked, somber but with genuine concern. She’d once exchanged letters with Finn Storm, while her now husband had corresponded with Poe Dameron. “I haven’t talked with Finn in, well, since the first time you deployed.” 

“They’re alright,” Clyde supplied. “I saw them last month. We try to have meet ups a few times a year. We’re all out, working civilian jobs, as you’ve seen.” 

Rose nodded. “I’m glad to hear they’re doing well. I’m also glad you agreed to hear us out. I know it must be surreal to get a phone call asking about some pretty futuristic sounding stuff.” 

“You could say that,” Clyde replied. “I was pleasantly surprised, but I thought I’d hear you out. In the name of science.” 

Rose smiled. “Well, again, I appreciate it. I promise we’ll keep the lingo as understandable as possible. I hope to not take up too much of your time. I also want you to ask any questions you want, okay?”

“Sounds like a plan,” Clyde replied with a brief nod.

“Great! We’ll be here in town for the next few days while you think over your decision if any other questions crop up. Don’t feel pressured, alright? I’ll probably say that a lot,” Rose chuckled. “This is a lot to process, and a huge decision to make. If you choose not to participate, then that’s fine!”

Overwhelmed already, Clyde just nodded. 

“Let’s get started!”

~*~

This was only the second time being in Clyde’s orbit, and Rey couldn’t help but fall in line. She had no idea how huge he was, though he’d alluded to being tall in his emails. Rey just didn’t know how tall. Even seated, he was a giant, though seemed to have a habit of curling in on himself just a little, as if trying to take off a few inches of height. Clyde had grown his hair out from the last picture he’d shared with her. She liked it. It looked smooth and soft, and Rey had the urge to run her fingers through the ebony locks. 

Clyde wore a pair of dark jeans, heavy boots, and a button down. The sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, revealing both flesh and metal. She noticed he wore a thick, silver ring on his right hand, as well as sported a tattoo of some sort on his right forearm. The prosthesis for his left arm looked well done. A higher end model that no doubt cost a pretty penny. 

Rey watched his face during the presentation. He nodded ever so often, taking all the information in stride, giving Rose his complete and undivided attention. Whenever Rey piped up with a comment or two, he leveled his dark stare on her. It made her squirm, but not out of discomfort. 

Once Rose started running through some of the specs of the design, Clyde suddenly got this distant look in his eyes. They glazed over slightly, and it was as if he had left his body or something. When no reactions came from Clyde, none of his usual nods or contemplative stares, Rey grew concerned. 

Reaching out, she placed a hand on Rose’s arm, effectively silencing her friend. 

“Clyde?” Rey called out softly. He didn’t stir at his name. Mellie looked to her brother and took notice. 

“Oh no…” She muttered to herself, placing her palm on his shoulder. “Clyde?”

A muscle beneath his eye began to twitch, and his flesh hand curled tightly. 

“Clyde?” Rey called out again, this time louder. 

Her voice seemed to have an effect, as he began to blink rapidly, pulling himself back to the present. His head turned to Mellie, then back to Rose and finally to Rey. 

“I’m sorry. I… I must’ve spaced out.”

“Are you okay?” Rey asked, brows furrowed in concern. 

“M’fine,” he replied, forcing a slight curl to his lips. It didn’t fool Rey. She had a feeling it didn’t fool anyone. 

“Do you want to take a break?” Rose asked. 

“No. I’m good. Let’s keep going. You were talking about range of motion?”

The presentation continued.

Rey watched him closer this time, watching for that distance look to return. Thankfully, it didn’t, and after Rose was done with her spiel, she left open air for questions. Mellie asked a few, especially about the interface of the arm, and the surgeries it would take to attach it. Clyde sat silently, his gaze having dropped to his lap. When Rose asked if he had any questions, Clyde shook his head, his hair cascading in front of his face for a moment, before shoving it back with his hand. 

“No, ma’am. As you said, it’s a lot of information to take it. I’ll take my reading materials, and give it full thought over the next few days.” 

“Fantastic. Thank you again, Mr. Logan, for hearing us out. Here is my card, in case you want to get in touch with me to ask further questions.” Rose brandished a trendy, square business card, before sliding it in the booklets she’d just explained, reviewing all of the information that they’d just gone over. Rose slid them across the table to Clyde, and sat back. 

“Thank you for your time. That’s all we have for you. We’ll look forward to hearing from you either way,” Rose grinned widely, holding out her hand again. 

They shook as everyone got to their feet. Rey pursed her lips in some semblance of a smile as she held her hand out to him. Clyde’s large paw engulfed her hand, and yet somehow, they fit perfectly together. A zip of something raced up her arm when their skin touched. Rey schooled her reaction, and whether Clyde felt it, he didn’t let on either. 

“Have a good day, Mr. Logan,” she said primly. Rey could tell the formality seemed to hurt him a little. Clyde nodded, both brother and sister gave their thanks, and left the conference room. 

Rey let out a long breath, one she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. 

“You’re as much of an idiot as he is,” Rose muttered, as she began packing her bag. 

“What the hell does that mean?” Rey glared. 

“I get why you’re upset with him. And I get why you’re upset with me. But we did what we did with good intentions in our hearts.” 

“What is it they say? The road to hell is paved with good intentions,” Rey barked. 

Rose rolled her eyes at Rey’s dramatics. “Look, all I’m saying is you should think on it, and finish the conversation you started last night.” 

“There’s nothing left to say,” Rey said stubbornly. 

Rose shot her a look. “There is a shit ton of things that need to be said. Like the fact that his first words to you conveniently match your mark.” 

Rey took a step back, instinctively covering her left wrist with her other hand. “How’d you know that?”

“Because you’ve shown me your mark, ding dong,” Rose scoffed. “And I haven’t forgotten about it, even if you have. Convenient, huh?”

“Yeah, but… I’m not going to  _ tell _ him. Besides, I don’t know if he’s  _ my _ soulmate,” Rey griped. 

“Who gives a fuck otherwise? You know that soulmate shit is just… well, hokey.” 

“Says the woman that found and married her soulmate,” Rey grumbled, shoving her own things in her messenger bag.

Rose sighed. “Okay, yes, I realize me saying that sounds like I’m being… I dunno… hypocritical or whatever. But, no one puts much stock in soulmarks anymore. It’s 2019. You can be with whomever you want, love whomever you want, regardless of what the words say. And maybe that makes meeting your soulmate all the more special, but it doesn’t mean what you could have is less than. I just want you to be happy, Rey. And when you were emailing that man for TWO years, I’d never seen you so happy. You were planning together, wanting to meet. And I know what he did hurt you, but he’s not a horrible man. If you could just talk to each other, maybe it could work out?” 

Rey stilled, remaining so during Rose’s speech. A part of her deep down could see how stubborn she was being about this. But the pain of Clyde ignoring her emails was still as fresh as it was four years ago. Even more so now that she’d finally met him, by pure accident. Well, maybe not pure accident. Rose had helped.

“I don’t know, Rose.” Rey said, shouldering her bag, and heading for the exit. “I just don’t know.”


	5. Chapter 5

_Roundtable Motel; Boone County, West Virginia - 2019_

Rey spent the rest of that day hunkered down in their small motel room. Thankfully, the television had been manufactured in this decade, which meant she was able to access quite a few channels with good screen quality. 

Work laptop out, more snacks procured from the vending machine in the front office, Rey typed away at some reports. There was plenty of work to keep her busy, now that the main part of why _she_ was on this trip was over. Rose had gone driving, wanting to explore the area and experience West Virginia. All Rey wanted was to go home. 

The sky began to darken, forcing Rey to turn on the lamps in the room. Rose returned with bags of Chinese food. Bless her. Rey loved Chinese food. And as they began to chow down, Rey had to admit it was pretty damn good Chinese food for being outside of New York City. 

“Lets go have a nightcap,” Rose declared, as they sat in a food coma, the small motel room table littered with the downed soldiers of food cartons. 

“No, Rose, but nice try.” Rey shook her head.

“Funny. I wasn’t asking,” Rose swept up their litter and shoved it all back into the bags, leaving it by the small trash can near the door. She grabbed her purse, and jiggled the keys. “Come on, let’s go.” 

“Rose…” Rey said in a warning tone, truly not amused. 

Tension built between them. Rose’s face began to morph into an expression that Rey rarely saw. Eyebrows furrowed, lips pursed, lines appeared between her eyebrows. 

Rose was angry. 

“Rey… I’m going to give you one minute to get your ass into that car. If you don’t, I swear to God, I will make your life a living hell from now until the day one of us dies. If it’s me first, I will _haunt_ you. Get your shit together, put aside your pettiness, and get in the fucking car.” 

Stunned, Rey froze, unable to move from the sheer terror Rose’s tone had instilled. Her friend was not an angry person, in fact, she was normally bubbly and bright, beautiful inside and out, just as her name hinted. But roses had thorns. And when Rose’s thorns came out… watch out.

Rey stood, swallowing thickly. “Let me powder my nose real quick,” she whispered, rushing off to the bathroom. She quickly shut the door, and braced her hands on the counter. Looking up, she met her own gaze in the mirror. 

Rose was right. The least she could do was resolve things with Clyde. They’d never met in person until now. They’d been radio silent for four years. It wasn’t like she owed him anything, nor did he owe her.

Shoving aside her pettiness, as Rose had said, Rey primped her hair and pinched her cheeks to bring a little color to the flesh. It was all she had time for, Rey was sure, before Rose would come bang down the door, demanding her presence. 

Taking a fortifying deep breath, Rey turned and opened the door. 

“Oh good, I was giving you fifteen more seconds before I went in there after you,” Rose said, with a bright smile, a complete 180 from where she was not thirty seconds ago. “Ready?”

“Sure,” Rey replied, voice low. She followed after Rose, who opened the door to the motel room with a flourish, and swept out into the cool evening air.

~*~

“So Rey is here? In Boone County?” Jimmy asked, a smile playing at his lips. Clyde didn’t like that look. Sylvia had her elbow rested on the bar top, her hand cradling her chin. She looked wistful, like the idea of Rey appearing was some romantic twist of destiny. 

“She came to assist with the presentation for that limb trial,” Clyde replied, keeping it as vague as possible. 

“Rey. _The_ Rey. The Rey you talked to for two years? The one you ghosted after…” Jimmy trailed off, realizing his humor needed to stop there.

Clyde rolled his eyes, already tired of hearing everyone’s astonishment at Rey being a real woman. 

“You could’ve cut the tension in that room with a knife,” Mellie supplied as she came back to the bar from the restroom. “Did you realize how much you were lookin’ at her, Clyde?”

Clyde looked affronted. “What? I wasn’t lookin’ at her.” 

“You were. You’d look at her, and then look away. Then the next second she’d look at you, and then look away. It was adorable. But sad. Just _talk_ to her.” Mellie urged.

“Talk to who?” Asked a smooth, male voice, who had just entered the bar. 

_Joe Bang_.

“Fate brought Rey to Clyde, Joe,” Mellie answered with a wide grin.

Joe looked startled, piercing blue eyes leveling Clyde with a look. “Rey? _The_ Rey? With the emails?”

 _Jesus, what was with these people?_

As if the repetition of her name summoned her, Rey stepped through the swinging screen door of Duck Tape, Rose close behind her. The small party at the bar looked back, curious at the newcomers. 

Clyde tried, but failed, to not watch Rey’s every step of her approach to the bar. She’d changed from the clothes he’d seen her in earlier, back to wearing a comfortable pair of jeans and her NYU hoodie. The women picked a spot further down the bar, the same seats they sat in the previous evening.

Mellie looked to Clyde, Clyde looked to Mellie. 

“Is that her?” Jimmy asked, in hushed tones. 

Mellie nodded. 

“Go…” Sylvia urged, looking pointedly down the bar. 

Seeing as he was the only bartender on shift, Clyde couldn’t ignore customers. 

Clyde slowly shuffled across the short distance between them. “Evening. What can I get you, ladies?” 

“I’ll take a Sam Adams, please, in the bottle is fine,” Rose requested with a smile.

“Sure thing,” Clyde replied. “And for you?” 

Rey’s eyes focused behind him, taking in the liquor bottles on display. 

“I’d like a gin and tonic, please,” she said, the smooth, dulcet tones of her accent practically caressing him.

“Comin’ right up,” Clyde turned, going for the Sam Adams first, easily popping the cap. Next, he grabbed the tonic water from a different mini fridge, and made quick work of unscrewing the top. He did the same for the Bombay Sapphire gin. Pulling down a good sized glass, Clyde plopped in ice, then poured the gin and squeezed in a lime wedge. Next, he added the tonic water, gave it a swirl with a little plastic straw, then added another wedge as garnish.

With carefully practiced precision, Clyde slid the Sam Adams bottle down the bar toward Rose, who easily caught it. She looked impressed. He then brought the gin and tonic glass to set in front of Rey. 

“Enjoy,” he said. “On the house.”

“We can pay, Clyde” Rey said.

“I know you can,” he replied. “With your fancy NASA jobs and all. But this is for comin’ down to see me, and talkin’ with me about the trials.” 

“We’re the ones that should be trying to wine and dine you,” Rose joked, taking a pull from the Sam Adams.

“Who are these fine young ladies you seem chummy with, Clyde?” 

Clyde tried to school his expression as Joe Bang wedged himself between Rose and Rey. Though his arms didn’t come around their shoulders, Joe rested them on the backs of their stools. Clyde clenched his jaw. 

“This is Rose and Rey,” Clyde introduced the two women. “Rose and Rey, this is Joe. Joe Bang. A friend of mine.” 

“Joe… Bang?” Rey asked with some skepticism. 

“Yes ma’am, that’s my last name. On the birth certificate and everythin’. It’s fittin’, because I love things that go bang.” 

Clyde resisted the temptation to roll his eyes.

“Uh huh,” Rey intoned, taking the first sip of her gin and tonic. She looked to Clyde in near surprise. Clyde took pride in his job, had worked very hard to be a bartender with his circumstances. To see the pure joy on Rey’s face after having a taste of the drink he’d made her? It was a heady sensation. There was something primal about it. Rey liked something he’d made with his own hand. 

“So, Rey…” Joe picked up again. “… I’ve heard a lot about ya.”

“You’ve heard about me?” Rey asked, eyebrow quirked. 

“Mhm,” Joe nodded. “Clyde told me all about you when we were in prison together.” 

Rey’s head whipped quickly back to Clyde. “Prison?”

Clyde felt his face flush. “It’s a long story.” 

“Whoops… he never told you that?” Joe asked, knowing full well Clyde hadn’t.

“No. Must’ve been after…” Rey trailed off, gaze not leaving Clyde’s face. 

“I’ve said too much,” Joe grimaced, still looking far from apologetic. Rose looked like she was about to pass out from holding in laughter. Joe sidled away as quickly as he’d appeared, and Clyde let out a relieved sigh. 

“Charming friends you have,” Rey noted, taking another sip of her gin and tonic. 

Glancing down the bar to where Joe took up his vacant seat, Clyde watched as Jimmy took a drag from his beer, then got down from his stool, intent on heading their way to strike up a conversation. 

This was going to be a long night.

~*~

Rey snorted, nearly spraying Clyde’s brother with some of her gin and tonic. She choked, half coughing and half laughing. 

Jimmy had just regaled them with a rather humorous tale of the Brothers Logan in high school. Apparently, Clyde had been a bit of a nerd, and his own brother had teased him for this fact. According to Jimmy, Clyde’s only redeeming quality in high school was that he played baseball. He was joking, of course. Anyone, even an outsider like Rey, could tell that the Logan siblings loved each other and protected each other. 

Clyde’s brother had his own charm, tempered by his girlfriend, Sylvia, who was also welcoming and kind. Despite the odd first impression Rey had gotten of Joe Bang, the more time she spent with him, the more she realized that he could _actually_ be charming.

“Alright, ya’ll, while I support you padding my paycheck, it’s last call,” Clyde called out. Rey hadn’t realized how the time had flown, and she had yet to get a chance to talk with Clyde alone. 

The other patrons of Duck Tape trickled out, shouting their farewells at Clyde as they left. It was… homey… to Rey. In New York, there weren’t many bars or pubs you could frequent and feel like part of a family. Here, that story was different. Everyone knew most everyone else, creating this sense of belonging, the kind Rey had been longing for most of her known life. 

“Alright, come on, Joe, let’s get you home,” Mellie prodded, draping Joe Bang’s arm around her shoulders to guide him out. He wasn’t completely sloshed, but he was just this side of unable to drive. 

“G’night, Miss Rey and Ms. Rose,” Joe slurred slightly, making an attempt and failing at bowing lowin a grand but feeble gesture. 

“Good night, Joe,” Rey and Rose parrotted, watching Mellie drag the bleached blonde man from the bar. 

Jimmy and Sylvia bade their leave, expressing their hope to see Rose and Rey again before they left town. Rose and Rey nodded, holding them to that sentiment.

“We should get back to the motel, huh?” Rose turned to Rey, looking pointedly at her. 

“Uh, yeah… Um, Clyde?” Rey looked from Rose to Clyde, who’d been wiping down washed glasses. “Could I… talk to you?” 

Clyde froze, and looked up, meeting her gaze. “Sure… I’ll be done in about five minutes.”

Rey nodded, “Great, I’ll just wait here?”

Clyde nodded, and Rey followed Rose to the door.

“I’m gonna head back to the room, but if you need me to come get you, give me a ring, okay?” Rose bid, as she headed down the steps to the black SUV.

Rey returned to the bar, where Clyde stood, wiping off the last bit of bar top. Upon her return, he pulled down two shot glasses and then filled them to the brim with whiskey. 

They both kicked back the amber liquid, wincing as the alcohol hit their throats. Rey took a steadying breath as she set the glass down. For a beat, neither of them spoke.

“Look, I--”

“I’m so sorry--” 

They spoke at the same time, and upon realizing this, they chuckled. 

“Ladies first,” Clyde urged in that smooth voice of his, smoother than the second shot of whiskey he poured for them. 

“It was a shock. Seeing you,” Rey began, fingers moving the shot glass around idly. “I didn’t think I’d ever see you or hear from you again.” 

To Clyde’s infinite credit, he didn’t try to interject. He knew it was her time to say her piece, and he would have his time. 

“I’ve missed you so much,” she continued, voice breathless from the emotion welling within her. “Other than Rose and Hux, you were my closest friend. And then you were gone, and I didn’t know what to think. I tried looking in Army records but didn’t have luck getting access. So, after awhile, I just… forced myself to believe you made it back home and you were fine. Thinking the alternative would have been… devastating.” 

Rey brought the shot glass to her lips, quickly polished it off, and set the glass back down with a dull clink. 

“I was so _hurt_ . And I was so _angry_. At you. At myself for allowing you in only to be cut down.” Rey sighed again, waving off Clyde’s offer to refill the shot glass. Her hazel eyes met his amber gaze, and that weird sensation squeezed around her heart again, just like it had the previous evening. A couple of tears streaked down her face, and she swiped them away quickly. 

“The thing is, though… I’m not… I’m not angry anymore. Yesterday, I was, I’ll admit. For about five whole minutes. Then an overwhelming feeling of relief that you were alive eclipsed that. And I’m… I’m just happy you’re alive and back home.” 

She tucked a strand of her chestnut hair behind her ear, nodding to him with a quick jerk of her head. 

Clyde’s turn.

“I’m sorry, Rey. What I did… it was shitty. I should never have gone radio silent on you, not after everything. Your emails got me through both my deployments. They gave me hope and something to come home to. Yeah, I’ve got my brother and sister, but… you were something else.”

Clyde finally took advantage of his second shot, letting the whiskey glide down his throat. He grasped their two glasses in his right hand and set them in a nearby sink. 

“I never expected to make such a connection with a complete stranger. And then, it wasn’t long until you weren’t a stranger. Like I’d known you my whole life. Everything was as it should have been, and then my convoy hit that IED and my whole world shattered. I woke up in a field hospital with too many injuries to count, some you could see and some you couldn’t. My arm was gone and I… I didn’t know how I would go on after that.”

His head hung forward slightly, fingers digging into his forehead as if to ease some pain. God, he was beautiful. Tall and broad, dark and charming. Rey yearned so badly to reach out and touch his dark hair, instinctively knowing the strands would be soft. His lips were plump, and when he mulled over his thoughts, as he was now, they pursed and mashed together. It was adorable, just like Rey always thought he would be. Right down to the slight appearance of his ears poking from the curtain of hair.

“I convinced myself that you wouldn’t want to be with someone who’d lost an arm. Who couldn’t get a full night’s sleep most nights. Someone… broken. So, I never responded to your emails, and I pushed myself forward, learning to live without my arm. Eventually, after two years, I thought about how stupid it all was, to push you away. But at that point, I figured it was too late. The way I abandoned you… I figured you’d never want to speak to me again. Which I would have understood.”

“And that’s the thing,” Rey interjected, leaning forward a little. “I would have wanted to continue… whatever it was between us. I would have in a heartbeat. I don’t care about your arm. All I care is that you’re alive. And that you’re safe at home with your family. That’s all I would’ve wanted to know. It’s all that would’ve gotten me by.” 

Clyde rested his flesh forearm on the bar, leaning forward as well. “You really don’t care that I’m not… whole?”

“First of all, you are, Clyde. Just because you’re missing an arm doesn’t mean you’re not whole. And second, yes, I don’t give one shit about your arm.” 

There went those lips again, working against each other in thought. 

“I can’t remember it, Rey,” he said, voice smaller than she’d ever heard it. “I can’t remember what it said.” 

“What what said?” She asked, just as softly. 

“My mark… it got blown off with my left arm and I can’t… I can’t fuckin’ remember what it said. I don’t have any pictures. I stupidly thought I’d never need to remember it. Thinking it would always be with me.” 

Rey didn’t respond right away, simply looked from one of Clyde’s eyes to the other, noticing the small green and darker brown flecks in the irises. 

“Remember what I said once? In an email about soulmarks?” 

Clyde nodded.

“The sentiment still stands. It’s nice to not talk about it for a change.” 

“I know. But I’d never know it if I met my soulmate,” Clyde replied, deep baritone shaking ever so slightly. 

“Maybe you don’t need the mark to know?” Rey pondered. “Maybe the soulmate thing isn’t as important as society has made it? Maybe it’s meant to be a… a suggestion? And that’s it.”

“Maybe…” Clyde mused. 

Their eyes held, and Rey couldn’t help but wonder what Clyde was thinking. There was something palpable in the air around them, though, something different. Something that had changed, yet remained the same.

“Rey?” 

She watched his lips move, riveted by the action actually, but didn’t process for a good ten seconds that he’d addressed her. 

“Hmm?” 

“Would you… would you maybe find it in your heart… deep down somewhere… to go on a date with me?”

Rey hadn’t been expecting that question, but before she could stop it, a huge smile burst across her face. 

“Yes, yes I do believe I could find it in my heart, Clyde.”

~*~

Clyde felt that a corner had been turned, a tentative peace between them. It felt like they had begun anew, yet also as if they hadn’t missed a beat in their email communications. 

When Clyde returned home that night to find Mellie absent (most likely at Joe Bang’s still, he mused), he’d pulled out his laptop and slowly typed an email to the address on Rey’s business card, which she’d supplied him back at the bar. 

* * *

**From: Clyde Logan <clogan7@yahoo.com>**

**To: Rey Niima <rey.niima@nasa.gov>**

**Date: October 17, 2019**

**Subject: Question Regarding Clinical Trial**

Dear Miss Niima,

I had a quick question about the clinical trial. Actually, more about the limb itself. Can it be painted to look like Ironman’s arm?

Thanks so much,

Clyde Logan

* * *

Clyde smiled slightly as he clicked send. Setting aside his laptop, he shucked his clothes for a quick shower. When he returned, dressed in a pair of boxers and a freshly cleaned Bob Seger t-shirt, Clyde found Rey had responded.

* * *

**From: Rey Niima <rey.niima@nasa.gov>**

**To: Clyde Logan <clogan7@yahoo.com>**

**Date: October 17, 2019**

**Subject: Re: Question Regarding Clinical Trial**

Dear Mr. Logan,

I have passed your inquiry along to my colleague who has more of a say in the trial. She has confirmed that you may have the limb painted however you wish. 

I have a question of my own. On what date and at what time should I expect you to call upon me at my humble motel at the Roundtable, room 13?

Best regards,

Rey Niima

* * *

Clyde grinned wider, clicked ‘Reply,’ and got to work typing his response.

* * *

**From: Clyde Logan <clogan7@yahoo.com>**

**To: Rey Niima <rey.niima@nasa.gov>**

**Date: October 17, 2019**

**Subject: Re: Re: Question Regarding Clinical Trial**

Dear Miss Niima,

So, I could also request for the arm to be gold, like C3PO? Good to know…

If it is amenable to you, milady, I would call upon you at your abode one day hence at half past six in the evening to enjoy a home cooked meal at my residence, and then a viewing of _The Great Gatsby_. Would this be agreeable?

Yours,

Clyde Logan

* * *

No sooner had Clyde navigated away from the email tab to play a little bit of Solitaire before turning it in for the night, his email inbox pinged a reply. Clyde fumbled to get back to the tab in a hurry.

* * *

**From: Rey Niima <rey.niima@nasa.gov>**

**To: Clyde Logan <clogan7@yahoo.com>**

**Date: October 17, 2019**

**Subject: Re: Re: Re: Question Regarding Clinical Trial**

Dear Mr. Logan,

I am deeply amenable to this plan, and shall look forward to your arrival. 

Love,

Rey

* * *

Clyde nearly choked at Rey’s sign off. 

The same one she used to end her emails with.

It made Clyde’s heart flutter, and spark with something he’d not felt in a long time.

 _Hope_.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy Belated Birthday, Heathyr! I hope you enjoyed your fic! I enjoyed writing it, very much. 
> 
> Much love! <3

6:30 p.m. Sunday evening came, and Rey hadn’t felt so nervous in her life. Not since the interview for the internship that eventually got her the job at Goddard. Her jitters amused Rose greatly.

“I just… haven’t ever seen you like this. It’s so different. So not calm and collected Rey Niima. I love it.” 

Rey rolled her eyes. Then the knock came, and her stomach jolted. She quickly finished touching up her make up as Rose opened the door, then came barrelling out as fast as her legs would move. She didn’t want to leave Clyde alone with Rose too long, no telling what Rose would ask or do. 

She stopped dead, taking in the sight of Clyde Logan. 

He was breathtaking. Absolutely stunning. His hair fell perfectly to the nape of his neck. He wore a pair of dark wash jeans that fit his long legs perfectly, accentuating thick thighs, and a dark green, short sleeved button down that he’d tucked into the waistband of his jeans. When he saw her, he smiled, and Rey forgot how to breathe. 

“You look beautiful,” Clyde all but beamed, the corners of his lips inching up ever so subtly. 

Rey wasn’t sure about that. She’d not come packed with date appropriate clothing. She had settled on her good pair of jeans, black Converse, and a knit sweater with a loose neckline. Bits of her chin length chestnut hair were pinned back, and a light layer of makeup accented her lips and eyes.

“Thank you,” she said, trying to keep the shaky nerves from her voice. “You don’t look too bad yourself.”

 _Understatement of the century_.

Moments later, Clyde assisted Rey into the passenger seat of his azure blue 1977 Pontiac Firebird. 

“A leftover from my dad,” Clyde explained, unnecessarily sheepish, when he closed her door. He used his long stride to get around the hood quickly, then folded his long legs into the car. He turned the engine over, and they were off to another part of town. 

They lapsed into light chatter as he drove, every so often referencing the emails they had shared since Friday evening.

“You could just text me, you know,” Rey teased.

“I know, but there’s somethin’ about sharing emails… it’s like old times. Plus, it’s hard to text with my one sausage hand.” 

Rey chuckled. “Your one sausage hand is lovely.”

_Shit, how idiotic was that to say?_

The hand in question was currently holding on to the steering wheel, and with one glance over, Rey saw his fingers clench and unclench ever so subtly.

It wasn’t much longer before Clyde pulled into the driveway of a cute little house. As the gentleman he is, Clyde bid her to remain in her seat while he opened the passenger door for her. Rey climbed out, shooting him a pleased smile. 

“This is adorable,” she complimented as Clyde unlocked the front door. 

“I can’t take credit. Mellie’s name is on the deed. She wanted me close by after…” 

Rey began to look around, noticing signs of a female presence. It definitely did not look like a bachelor lived here. The decorations were thought out, colors matched, and everything was neat and tidy. 

“Is Mellie here?” Rey asked, craning her neck for other signs of life. 

“No. She graciously left to spend the night elsewhere,” Clyde replied, heading towards the kitchen. 

“Let me guess… Joe Bang’s?” Rey laughed.

Clyde looked back at her through the doorway as she looked around the main rooms: living room, little dining room, and finally the kitchen to join him. “How’d you guess?” He grinned. 

Rey acted as assistant as Clyde prepared chicken marsala to be served over angel hair pasta, accompanied with an assortment of steamed veggies. She’d forgotten what he’d told her once in an email, about how much he liked to take time to cook a good meal. A trait he’d inherited from his mom. 

As they ate, they talked and laughed. Rey appreciated seeing the smile on his face. In the few interactions they’d had since she appeared, Clyde had been somber, even when they weren’t harping at each other about the past. In their conversation, he seemed lighter, freer. 

“Ugh, this is so _good_ ,” Rey groaned, already on her second helping. Everything was so flavorful, prompting Rey to wish that Mrs. Logan was still with them so she could partake in more Logan Family recipes. 

Afterward, Rey insisted she do the dishes. Clyde remained, helping as much as Rey would allow, shoulder to shoulder in front of the sink. More like shoulder to mid-bicep in their case. 

“So… dinner was alright?” Clyde asked, working his lips again in nervousness. 

“It was delicious. If I allowed myself, I would have eaten the rest of it,” Rey smiled up at Clyde as he dried one of the freshly cleaned pots. “I can’t remember the last time I had a good home cooked meal.”

Clyde returned her smile, one of those small ones that seemed meant just for her. 

“I’d be happy to cook for you whenever you wanted,” he said softly. 

Rey’s hands slowed their scrubbing, transfixed yet again by the intensity of his stare. Their gaze held for another beat. Clyde’s head began to lower. Rey’s lungs burned as her breathing quickened. 

A loud bang just outside the window over the sink had them turning away, searching outside for the source of the noise. Rey’s hand had flown to her chest, over her rushing heart, though whether it was rushing because of the noise or their proximity, she wasn’t sure.

“That was just Darrell and his junker,” Clyde grumbled. “It backfires when he backs out of his driveway.” 

Rey chuckled, and continued washing, the spell broken for the moment.

Once the kitchen was set to rights, Clyde grabbed the bottle of red wine he had paired with dinner, while Rey grabbed their glasses, and headed for the living room. Rey settled on the loveseat while Clyde set up _The Great Gatsby_.

It had not been lost on Rey how utterly natural this all felt. Interacting with him, eating with him, cleaning the dishes together, getting cozy to watch a movie. Once, Rey would have been terrified at this, at the intimacy, having always kept her heart close, never opening up to anyone. Then Clyde Logan had entered her life, and though they’d never met face to face, she felt she could confide in him in a way she couldn’t with Rose or Hux. 

Now, as the opening credits began, Rey toed off her Converse, tucked her feet beneath her, and leaned into Clyde, resting her head on his shoulder. She felt him stiffen at first, and Rey feared she’d made a mistake, but Clyde relaxed quickly, settling back against the couch and wedging his arm around her shoulders. 

Rey had to admit the movie was superb. Though she didn’t much like the storyline, she found herself sniffling and batting away a few tears as Jay Gatsby, played by Robert Redford, urged Daisy Buchanan, played by Mia Farrow, to tell him why she hadn’t waited for him. 

“Because rich girls don’t marry poor boys,” Daisy replied, bursting into tears. 

The love story was tragic, despite the fact Daisy had canonically been Jay Gatsby’s soulmate, and he hers. Rey rubbed at her left wrist subconsciously, burrowing deeper into Clyde’s side, distracted momentarily by his scent. It was cedar, and like the mountains, and something purely Clyde. It was intoxicating. 

Rey had another moment of clarity. She’d let her own pessimism and the media’s interpretation of soulmates taint her life decisions. It came from some deep place of a feeling of not belonging any one place, or the verbal abuse from the nuns in the orphanage, claiming she’d never know happiness. 

The damn penguins had lied. Rey had known the most happiness exchanging emails with the man at her side. She had known the most happiness in this single evening than she had in the past year. 

Maybe, just maybe, this could work. She didn’t want a missed opportunity, nor to end tragically like Gatsby. 

The movie came to a close with Rey having shed a few more tears. She sat up, and through the darkness of the living room, watched Clyde also brush away a few tears of his own. 

“Okay, you were right,” Rey admitted, reaching over to flip on the lamp on the side table. The room illuminated, all the better to see Clyde. 

Clyde nodded, and didn’t say anything further. No ‘I told you so.’ Rey found that refreshing.

“I haven’t watched that movie since I deployed the first time,” he mused instead, tipping his head toward Rey. She’d been so used to the warmth of his body, and when she moved to turn the lamp on, she’d displaced herself from his side. Could she just… go back in? His arm was still outstretched, still welcoming. 

“Have you seen the Kiera Knightley version of Pride and Prejudice?” Rey asked, thinking ‘what the hell?’ and leaning back into Clyde’s side. His arm immediately circled her shoulders again, pulling her against him. 

“Can’t say that I have,” Clyde replied, voice soft. Rey rested her head just beneath his chin, nestling into the spot where his shoulder met his neck. 

“It’s a good one. Happier ending,” she supplied. 

“We’ll have to watch it then.” 

For a time, the only sound in Rey’s ears was the beating of Clyde’s heart. It was steady and firm, just like him. His scent overwhelmed her senses again, and the warmth he radiated was comforting.

“It’s gettin’ late. I should get you back,” Clyde murmured, his lips ghosting across the crown of her head.

“I’d rather stay right here,” Rey chuckled, emboldened, circling her arms around his torso. His entire presence was a balm. His physical being large and comforting, crowding her in the best way possible. His slow, accented words were like a lullaby. The hair of his goatee tickled at her forehead. 

“That’d be okay with me,” Clyde said. 

Rey tipped her head back to see his face. Their eyes met, and he smiled that soft, slow smile of his. It was infectious, and Rey couldn’t help but smile back. 

She felt the pull again from the intensity of his dark eyes, all the darker in the dimly lit living room. His head dipped again, and Rey swore she would kill Darrell if his car back fired again in that moment…

Luckily, Darrell would live to see another day, as Clyde’s lips tentatively pressed against hers. They were as pillowy and soft as Rey imagined, and she couldn’t believe they hadn’t done this sooner. 

After the barest of contacts, Clyde inched back, his eyes carefully reading her face. 

“Was… Was that alright?” He asked, and Rey nearly fell off the couch with how much deeper his voice had gotten.

“More than…” Rey breathed, before surging up to repeat the kiss, this time with more urgency. Their lips slotted together perfectly, and Rey couldn’t help the little gasp that caught in her throat. She cupped his jaw, caressing her fingers along the smooth skin and through his dark facial hair. She became enveloped, both flesh and metal arms crushing her against his chest. It wasn’t uncomfortable, in fact, far from it. She felt at home, she felt safe. And there was nowhere else she’d rather be. 

Clyde nipped at her lower lip, causing her mouth to part. He took advantage, sweeping his tongue inside to taste. Rey groaned, the sound muffled by Clyde’s insistent lips. She scrambled into his lap, knees pressed into the loveseat on either side of his hips. 

Finally, finally, Rey’s hands carded into Clyde’s hair, sighing in contentment at the soft strands. She couldn’t stop her fingers from sifting through over and over, as their kisses grew more heated. It was nearly too much, too soon, but Rey had been waiting a long damn time for this, and a herd of wild tigers wouldn’t have pulled her from him. 

“Rey,” Clyde groaned, jerking his head away. Rey mewled, desperate, hardly recognizing herself, not wanting to be denied his kisses anymore. Their breaths came in sharp pants, mingling in the space between them. Clyde leaned in, pressing his forehead to hers. “I don’t… I don’t want to do this if--” 

“Clyde Logan, I’m _so_ ready to do this,” Rey huffed a laugh. She had wanted to do this for a long time now. 

Clyde smiled, damn near a full on grin. He chuckled. 

“Well… I don’t normally put out on the first date,” he drawled. Rey laughed, full bodied with shoulders shaking.

“I don’t either,” Rey replied, pressing soft, quick kisses to his cheeks, then his nose, and his jaw. “But, I think our situation is a little different, don’t you?”

Every email he’d replied too felt like a date. Every word, every shared hope and dream, every complaint… 

“Yes,” he said. “I’m not sayin’ I don’t want this. Because… Lord, I really do. But I wanted to make sure you wanted this too.”

“Yes,” Rey echoed, cupping his face in her palms. “Very much.” 

“Good,” Clyde nodded. “Now, I’m not promisin’ I’ll be the perfect Southern gentleman once you’re in my bed --” Rey laughed. “-- but I am promisin’ that I’m going to make you come so many times, you’re gonna beg me to stop.” 

_Okaaaaay_.

Rey’s eyes widened, not at all expecting those words to leave Clyde Logan’s lips. Mr. Somber. Mr. Tall, Dark, and Broody. Mr. Southern Gentleman indeed. 

“ _Jesus…_ ” Rey hissed, feeling warmth blossom in her core, hips squirming ever so slightly. 

“Actually, the name’s Clyde.” And there it was, the most shit-eating grin to ever grin passed over Clyde’s face. “I’ve thought about you, a lot, since we first got acquainted through letters, and then in the years since I lost my arm. Due to my own idiocy, I’ve lost a helluva lot of time with you. I’ve got a lot of ground to make up, and I’m startin’ right now.” 

Rey swallowed thickly.

She had just enough time to follow his next bidding, hurriedly wrapping her legs securely around his waist and her arms around his neck, as he used his powerful thighs to leverage them up to a standing position. Once he’d gotten his balance, Clyde strode towards the back of the house. Rey clung to him, giggling the whole way. 

Once Clyde entered his room, he nudged his door shut with the toe of his socked foot, then placed Rey back on her feet at the foot of his bed.

“Um, I’m just… I’m gonna take this--” Clyde stuttered, waving his prosthesis around. He suddenly looked so unsure, and that wrenched Rey’s heart in her chest. Without a word, she stepped toward him, catching the metal wrist, tugging him toward her. Clyde complied, and her fingers began unbuckling the false limb. Once it popped free, Rey carefully carried it to his dresser, and set it down safely. She turned back, returning to his side, and took his elbow in hand, gently massaging the remainder of his forearm, as well as up to his shoulder. 

Clyde’s reaction was visceral. His body immediately lost some tension, a contented sigh escaped his lips, and he smiled at Rey appreciatively and with wonder. When she’d worked the muscles in his arm, Rey pressed a light kiss to the inside of his elbow, showing him, proving to him, that she didn’t care. Clyde was still Clyde. And that’s what mattered. 

He reached for her then, palming her cheek and brushing the pad of his thumb across the soft skin. Rey’s eyes fluttered shut, lashes fanning across the apples of her cheeks. She tilted her face into his palm, nuzzling her mouth against the callouses she felt there. 

“I’m on the pill. And I’m clean,” she whispered into the still air between them, both too speechless to speak further. “So, if you find it amenable, Mr. Southern Gentleman, I would really like for you to come inside me.” 

With a growl, Clyde was on her again. Rey had just enough of a glimpse of his eyes widening, pupils dilated with lust, before he’d tackled her to the bed. Wrapping his whole arm around her waist, and with the help of her scrabbling legs, Clyde pulled Rey up the bed, settling her on his pillows. 

He swooped in for her mouth, feasting on the reddened flesh and taking long, languorous licks inside of her mouth with his tongue, moaning. It was the hottest fucking thing Rey had ever heard. The hottest and most consuming kiss anyone had ever given her. It was like he meant to brand her with his scorching lips and tongue. Rey kept up as much as she could, clinging to him with her arms wrapped around his neck again. He kissed her with wild abandon, just the action heating her sex and dampening her panties. 

Kiss drunk, Rey pulled away, reaching to yank his button down from the waistband of his jeans. Her fingers shook and she didn’t think she’d be able to release each of the damn buttons without going insane. It seemed to amuse Clyde though, her distress, and she huffed her frustration at him when she finally freed the last button. Between her hands and his movements, they were able to shuck the offending garment. Where it ended up, Rey didn’t know or particularly care. 

Their mouths latched to one another again, heightening to a frenzy. Rey’s hands touched every bit of his skin that she could. From his shoulders down to the cut of his hips, she mapped every dip and rise, with another moan muffled by his mouth at the realization that the man was fit.

They couldn’t help but laugh against each other’s lips as they divested each other of the rest of their clothes. They would get distracted by the melding of their mouths, how seamlessly they fit, and the passionate way their tongues entwined.

Once they managed to rid Rey of her jeans and sweater, and Clyde of his jeans, she couldn’t describe the heady sensation of skin sliding against skin. She didn’t have time to dwell on these thoughts as Clyde’s mouth trailed away from her lips, down the column of her neck, and further still. He took time to trace the lines of her collarbones, then the slight swell of her breasts unfortunately still covered by her bra, and then down to the sensitive skin of her belly. 

Rey hummed, fingers sliding through his dark tresses, nails lightly scraping against his scalp. Clyde picked his head up, resting his chin on her belly for a moment, eyes nearly eclipsed by the pupil. No one had ever looked at her the way Clyde looked at her now, and she felt desired. Beautiful. Wanted.

“Can I…?” He asked, more breath than words, as he mouthed at the skin just above the waistband of her panties. His hot breath ghosted against her skin, causing her to shiver. 

“Yes,” she whispered. With her ascent, Clyde curled his fingers around the fabric, and pulled them down her legs. Rey lifted her hips, aiding him, and took the liberty of ridding herself of her bra, leaving her completely bare to him. Clyde took her in hungrily as he tossed the panties over his shoulder. A bout of self consciousness washed over Rey again, not having been naked for many people in her life. Her hands moved to cover her bareness, but Clyde furiously shook his head. 

“Don’t,” he choked out, and fuck was his voice wrecked, husky from arousal. “You’re gorgeous. I want to see…” 

Swallowing thickly, Rey pulled her hands away. Clyde smiled, tracing the line of her leg from ankle to hip, his eyes never leaving her, taking his fill. He dipped down, pressing a kiss to one knee, then the other. 

“I’ve wondered… wondered what you’d taste like.” 

“Why don’t you find out?” Rey crooned, barely recognizing her voice. It was damn near sultry, very come hither, but it had the desired effect because Clyde stretched out on his stomach, nudging her thighs wider to accommodate his shoulders. 

“I intend very much to find out,” he whispered, the breath from his words engulfing her heated, aching sex. 

_What a damn tease_. 

“Clyde…” She said, a hint of a threat in her tone. The infuriating man just chuckled, but settled in, peppering Rey’s inner thighs with quick kisses, teasing higher and higher. They were pursed, closed lip kisses, but that was far from the case when Clyde finally reached his destination. 

Rey cried out at the first touch of his warm lips against her flesh. It was a sloppy, open mouthed kiss against her folds, but it was divine. 

At first, he assaulted her with his lips, sucking lightly at her clit, then along the length of her to her entrance. When Rey had sufficiently turned into a writhing mess from simply that, Clyde lapped at her with his tongue. First languid, long, slow licks, then shorter licks. He swirled his tongue at her sopping wet hole, moaning at her taste like a man starved. Dipping the tip of his tongue inside of her, Rey’s hips bucked, a gasping moan tearing from her lungs. 

It was too much, yet not enough. Her hands had been buried in the mop of dark hair since he’d begun, and Clyde didn’t seem to mind. When he hit a particularly delicious spot, she’d guide him back, press his head into her. Rey felt as though she couldn’t breathe, like she’d unraveled. But Clyde was there, holding her hips down with his flesh arm, feasting on her like she was his choice of a last meal.

“Clyde… Clyde, _please_ …”

Clyde didn’t let up on his assault, giving no quarter, showing no mercy. Rey could feel the familiar coil tightening, leading to a sweet release. Apparently, Clyde could sense it too, and attacked her clit, sucking and licking the flat of his tongue against her over and over. It was when he allowed the slightest graze of his teeth, the sharpness of it tossed Rey over the edge. She keened loudly, vaguely thankful Mellie wasn’t home, as she came. Harder than she’d ever had. Harder than she could make herself come. 

And Clyde had done it with just his mouth.

Fuck, she was in trouble.

~*~

Clyde sat back, sliding his knees underneath himself to sit up. His tongue swept out, chasing every last drop of Rey’s release from his lips and chin. He reached out, skimming his palm along her thigh, then up, up her belly to the valley of her breasts where he could feel her racing heartbeat. He’d gotten her like that, wild, like some goddess he’d managed to ensnare, her chestnut hair spread out on his pillow like a halo. 

Perhaps the Logan Curse had been broken with the success of the heist? Otherwise, how else would he have been so lucky to finally have Rey in his life? And especially to have her in his bed, looking so fucking sexy, it hurt? The way she had just come on his tongue… Clyde needed to do that again. Many, many times. The sweet sound she made and the way she called his name?

 _Paradise_. 

“Shit, Clyde,” Rey groaned, draping her arm over her eyes, clearly trying to collect herself. Pride swelled in his chest. 

“I take it that was satisfactory?” He asked, wolfish grin breaking out across his slick, reddened lips. 

Rey peered out from beneath her arm, glaring. “You know it was.” 

“And we’re just gettin’ started…” 

“Fuck, you’re gonna kill me,” she mock-whined. 

“Is there a better death?” He chuckled, leaning in to her, dragging his chin playfully along hers, before mouthing along the pulsating vein in her throat. 

“No, I suppose not,” she gasped, once again fisting her hands into his hair, much to his pleasure. Every time she had, every time she’d tugged or grazed her fingertips across his scalp, his cock had twitched, the ache becoming almost unbearable. At this point, though, he’d happily die of blue balls if it meant Rey came over and over again.

“Mmm…” Clyde hummed, tasting the salt of her skin as he lavished attention at her neck and shoulders. He’d slotted his hips between her thighs now, having moved up her body, touching at every point they could be touching. Clyde rolled his hips, grinding against Rey’s soaked heat. God, he couldn’t… “I need to be inside of you,” he moaned. “Christ, Rey, I need to feel you…” 

“Yes,” Rey coaxed, reaching between them to palm at Clyde’s cock. He grunted as her fingers curled around the girth, pumping along the length of him. She murmured words he could barely make out, but heard something about ‘big’ and ‘gonna split me in half.’ 

“Rey,” Clyde warned, knowing that if she kept up her ministrations, he wouldn’t last. 

In response, she finally, _finally_ guided the head of him to her entrance, and when the tip of him slid in easily, Clyde took over. He pressed his hips forward inch by slow inch. It was damn near agonizing to feel her around him, clenching him like a vice, to the point he didn’t think he’d bottom out without having to stop. Until he did, and yeah, there is no better death than this. 

“Rey…” He moaned again, drawing out the syllable like an ode. Rey was quiet, and for a moment, Clyde worried, until he lifted his head. Her face looked utterly enraptured, her eyes closed and plump lips parted to form an ‘O.’ “You okay?” 

“If you don’t move soon, I won’t be okay,” she breathed, opening her eyes just enough to shoot him a Look.

“Yes, ma’am…” Clyde chuckled again, before experimentally wiggling his hips. Rey gasped, and Clyde damn near choked on his own spit. He moved again, inching out just so, before pressing back in. When he was met with another punched breath of pleasure, Clyde began to set a steady pace. His thrusts were slow at first, wanting to feel the entirety of her clenching at his length. The slick slide was heady, and it wasn’t long before they both turned delirious with need. 

“God, you feel so good,” Clyde murmured, burying his face once more into the crook of her neck. Rey’s arms encircled him, clenching at his hair, his hips pistoning forward again and again. He urged her legs up and around his waist, and fuck if he didn’t feel like he slipped deeper inside of her. “So good, so good,” he moaned, words falling from his mouth without reflection. “… take my cock, fuck you take my cock so good, Rey.” 

“Clyde,” Rey whispered against his sweat damp hair. “Faster. Harder. M’not gonna break, luv,” she urged. Clyde sped his movements, and Rey met him thrust for thrust.

This was a damn religious experience, and Clyde vowed to offer himself up forever at the altar of Rey and her body. He’d gladly provide her pleasure for as long as she wanted it. 

The bed frame squeaked rhythmically at the force of his movements, and he thanked God Mellie wasn’t home. 

“I’m so close,” Rey whined into his ear, nibbling at the shell with her blunt teeth. “I’m so close, Clyde. Make me come, please, make me come…” 

Clyde gritted his teeth, mustering up an extra burst of energy, fucking into her furiously. He tried to angle himself just so, to rub his pelvis against her clit. It was would’ve been easy to reach between them, to touch it like he wanted to, but his only good arm currently kept his body from crushing her.

It didn’t seem to matter, however, as he must have provided enough stimulation to shove her over the edge. Rey came hard, crying out so beautifully, as her body shook. Her inner walls clenched almost painfully around his cock, fluttering just enough to send him hurtling over the edge. Clyde muffled his moan of ecstasy against Rey’s neck, his whole body shuddering as he emptied himself inside of her. His hips stuttered slowly to a stop. Clyde used the last of his energy to roll over, bringing Rey with him and against his chest. The air was filled with the sound of their panted breaths and the smell of sex. It was something just them, their mingled scents a dizzying combination. 

“Do all nice Southern boys fuck like that?” Rey giggled, once she’d caught her breath. 

Clyde growled. “You ain’t gonna find out how any other nice Southern boy fucks, if I got anythin’ to say about it.”

He could feel Rey’s lips forming a smile. “Good. Now, you said something about making me come so many times I’d beg you to stop?” 

“Give me another couple of minutes, darlin’. Can’t have you callin’ me a liar.” 

~*~

Soft light trickled through the curtains, slowly waking Rey from probably the most restful sleep she had had in a long while. She felt warm, and sore, but the best kind of sore. Clyde had indeed made her come so many times, she’d begged him to stop. And then he made her come once more after that. 

The next thing she realized was the soft, feather-light touch on her left wrist. Through the sleepy haze of her brain, a vague thought popped in that Clyde might be reading her soulmark right now… 

… which promptly caused her eyes to fly open, and her body to shoot into a sitting position, paying no mind to the sheets pooling at her waist and revealing her nakedness. Her head whipped back, to see Clyde’s fingers wrapped around her wrist. 

“Were you going to tell me?” 

Rey couldn’t read him through his words or the set of his face. They were even, void of emotion. Panic gripped at her, as she tried to swallow around a lump in her throat. 

“I-- I didn’t know how to…” She trailed off. “I didn’t want it to matter.” 

“I would’ve liked to know about it.” Again, his words were flat, straightforward. After another minute of tracing the elegant script with his right forefinger, Clyde heaved a sigh and untangled himself from the bed. Without another word, he walked to the attached bathroom, naked as the day was long, and disappeared. 

Rey fell back against the bed, clapping her palm over her eyes and willing herself not to cry. Her eyes burned from her efforts as her mind whirled, trying to think of what to say. 

After what felt like an age, Clyde came out of the bathroom, and paused in the doorway. 

“I’m sorry, Clyde,” Rey said, voice barely above a whisper. Clyde shook his head, bedraggled locks swaying. It took another beat, then three more, before Clyde climbed back into the bed and gathered her against his body. 

“You don’t gotta be sorry,” Clyde soothed, cradling her into his chest.

“I should’ve told you. Right away,” Rey replied, biting back the burn in her chest. “You said them to me at the bar, and then I saw it was you. I didn’t know how to process it.”

“I’m your soulmate. Not much to process,” Clyde said wryly.

“It’s a big deal,” Rey argued, curling her fingers around his side where she felt scar tissue. No doubt from the other injuries he’d sustained from the IED. “Finding your soulmate is a huge deal. But like most other things involving emotion, I didn’t know how to handle it.” 

“That makes two of us…” Clyde sighed. “I told you… I can’t remember my words. I don’t have them written down anywhere. Never thought I’d need too. I was naive enough to think that I’d always have my arm. In the explosion, I… I had some head trauma, and there are things I can’t remember. It’s a blessing to have yours still…“ 

Rey tipped her head back, looking up at his face. His eyes were glazed, distant, like that look he’d had in the conference room at the hospital. She’d read articles about soldiers coming back from Iraq. The things they’d experienced and seen scarring them on a level no one could see or feel but them. It worried her, for Clyde’s sake. 

“It’s okay,” Rey said, vehemently. “It’s okay you don’t remember. Because I… I like you regardless, Clyde. You’re my soulmate. Cool. I’m ecstatic. Maybe I’m yours in return, maybe I’m not? It doesn’t matter. Not to me, as long as I’m with you, and you want me.”

Clyde finally startled from his reverie, dipping his chin to his chest to meet her gaze. “If you think otherwise, Rey Niima, then I’d be wonderin’ who here had the brain trauma.” Rey chuckled. “Of course I want you. I’ve wanted you for years.” 

Rey grinned, resting her head back on his firm chest. “Okay. Then, we don’t dwell on it. Like we did in our letters, we don’t talk about soulmarks and soulmates. We just enjoy our time together.” 

Clyde nodded, and they lay in silence for a time. Rey wasn’t sure if it was for minutes or hours, but it was pleasant, being wrapped in each other. 

“I didn’t have it on me…” Clyde blurted.

Rey looked back up at him, eyebrows furrowed. “Have what on you?”

“Your token,” Clyde replied. “The one you sent me? The handkerchief you made out of an old t-shirt?” 

Rey’s nose crinkled in thought, then the memory returned. “Oh, I remember. The token for a knight going off to war from his lady. You didn’t have it on you when?”

“When the IED hit. I didn’t have it on my person. I always kept it on me. In a pocket or in my vest. Somewhere. But for some reason that day, I put it in my duffel bag which ended up in a different humvee.”

“Clyde…” Rey said evenly. “You can’t think that not having that is the reason you got hurt?” 

“I know it sounds stupid. But you know how I’ve been in the past about the Logan Curse. I just… I had it on me the entire deployment, not a scratch. The minute I take it off of me, I lose part of a limb. Seems odd, don’t it?” 

“Coincidental, more like,” Rey replied. “I hardly think there’s any correlation.” 

“You usin’ your fancy science speak on me?” Clyde joked, a small smile replacing the subdued look on his face.

“Are you still hung up on the Logan Curse, Clyde?” Rey asked, dropping a sweet kiss to his sternum. 

“You know… not since a couple years ago. Definitely not now.” 

Rey could feel her face heating, hearing between the lines, meaning that now he had her, she seemed a blessing rather than a curse.

“What happened a couple years ago? Was that the same time you were in prison?” Rey teased again.

“Like I said before, it’s a long story for another time,” Clyde squirmed, and Rey knew instantly there was definitely more to this.

“You can tell me when you’re ready. But I’ll be anxious to hear it when you do,” she grinned, pressing another kiss to his warm skin. 

More silence as they basked in each other, curled closely and intimately. 

Going forward, they’d have a lot to work out with the distance and their work situations, but Rey knew, without a doubt, that it was worth the effort. Anything worth having was worth the work. 

“Can I make you breakfast?” Clyde asked.

“You have me naked in your bed, Clyde Logan, and you’re offering me breakfast?” Rey looked up at him again, grinning mischievously. 

“You’re right,” Clyde shook his head. “I should have known you’d be insatiable, even after last night…” 

“Oh!” Rey gasped in mock indignation. “How dare you! I believe you are just as insatiable as me!” 

Clyde rolled her on top of him then, one of many positions they’d taken advantage of last night. She had found he had rather liked seeing her at this angle. 

“You’re right. With you in my bed and my heart, Miss Niima, how could I not be?”

~*~

_Chapman Residence; Lynchburg, Virginia - 2 months later_

The move to Lynchburg had been tough on Sadie Logan at first. She was far from her daddy, far from the friends she’d made at her pageants, and the adjustment to making new friends at school was difficult. 

Keeping busy became a chore for Sadie too. She had given up the pageant circuit in order to fulfill her new passion for cooking. Her uncle Clyde had gotten her started, and then her momma enrolled her in local classes. She loved to cook, and two years on, she was pretty darn good at it. Her daddy had said so, and even Moody had said so. 

To avoid the boredom that no friends could bring, Sadie had taken to rummaging through the boxes in the attic. The boxes had been put up there when they’d first moved in, and they still were collecting dust. A lot of the boxes contained things from her momma’s past. She liked seeing things that were her’s, getting to know her momma in a way she hadn’t before. 

On this particular day, rain came down in sheets outside and the wind ripped through some gaps in the attic windows, causing a scary whistling sound. But Sadie Logan didn’t mind it. In fact, she was too occupied by the contents of one of the boxes to pay any mind. Inside were a bunch of old photographs, mostly of her momma when she was younger. There were a lot of her daddy, too, and Sadie imagined they were pictures from high school. 

Shuffling through a stack of photographs, Sadie couldn’t help but smile at her beautiful momma and handsome daddy. They still were, though they’d certainly gotten older. 

One picture caught Sadie’s eye. In it, Uncle Clyde, Aunt Mellie, momma, and daddy were all standing in the bed of someone’s pickup, looking ecstatic over something. Aunt Mellie looked coyly into the camera, momma and daddy had their arms around each other, and Uncle Clyde had his arms up and splayed wide. 

Squinting in the feeble light of the attic, Sadie noticed a smudge on the picture. She tried to wipe it away with her thumb, but to no avail. It was then she noticed that the smudge was part of the picture. And the smudge was a part of Uncle Clyde’s arm. The arm he’d lost when he was off fighting. She’d heard her momma talking about it with daddy when Uncle Clyde had first gotten back. Something about losing his soulmark and not remembering what it had said. No one could remember. 

Sadie looked at her bare wrist, knowing that she would get hers some day, when her first period hit. She couldn’t imagine not remembering what your soulmark said, though, which is what prompted her to replace the other pictures carefully, and head back downstairs. 

In her momma’s office, she found a magnifying glass. Maybe she could make out one or two words, and tell Uncle Clyde? She didn’t want him to be alone anymore. He always seemed so sad. Sadie set the picture down, and looked really closely into the magnifying glass, straining to read.

“Hey, baby, what’ve you got there?” Bobbi Jo Chapman asked, wandering into the room, sorting some mail. 

“I found an old picture of you, daddy, Uncle Clyde, and Aunt Mellie,” Sadie replied, looking over at Bobbi Jo. “Momma, what’s a ‘tosser’?”

~*~

_Mellie & Clyde’s Abode; Boone County, West Virginia _

Clyde pulled his cell phone away from his ear, ending the extraordinary phone call he’d just had with his ex-sister-in-law. When he’d spied the caller ID, he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. He and Bobbi Jo weren’t on bad terms, or good for that matter. They weren’t on any terms, seeing each other rather indifferently. Clyde had been worried, thinking something had happened to Sadie, and Bobbi Jo couldn’t get a hold of Jimmy. But when she said she had some news for him, Clyde couldn’t imagine what it would be.

Bobbi Jo broke the news to him, and he couldn’t have been more stunned. 

“Do the words ‘bloody,’ ‘tosser,’ and ‘alive’ mean anything to you?” Bobbi Jo had asked.

Like a switch had been flipped, Clyde remembered. The words of his soulmark, long forgotten due to the trauma of the IED explosion and loss of his arm. Rey’s first words to him: ‘Bloody hell, you tosser, you’re alive.’ 

For a moment, he felt he couldn’t breathe. It was one thing to discover he was Rey’s soulmate, his words forever etched onto her arm. It was another to find that she was his in return. Though, hadn’t he always known? Hadn’t he always had some kind of inkling?

Just then, his phone buzzed again, an incoming FaceTime call from Rey. Glancing at the clock, he noticed it was quittin’ time for her. She must be heading back to her apartment. They’d decided to give long distance a go for the time being. They traded off visiting, and Clyde enjoyed being given the grand tour of New York City by Rey, as they’d planned so long ago. Clyde knew she loved her job, and he wouldn’t want her to give it up for him. Rey knew that Clyde liked being home, managing Duck Tape. What she didn’t know, yet, was that Clyde had been looking into community college, and looking into the few that were in the city. Maybe he could get a business degree? Maybe he could manage a bar there? 

“Hey, darlin’,” Clyde greeted with a smile, just for her, as he accepted the call.

“Hi, luv,” Rey replied, her own radiant grin answering back. She was walking, Clyde could make out the buildings and skyscrapers around her, with her AirPods wedged in her ears. “Just about to start your day?”

“Yep, will be there in another hour or so. How was yours?”

“It was good! Can’t complain. I heard from Rose that she has her candidates lined up for the trial. She is excited to see how it goes.” 

“Tell her again I’m sorry for not agreein’ to it.”

“I will not. There’s nothing to be sorry for, Clyde. You decided you didn’t want to do it. That was your decision to make.” 

“Someone showed me that maybe I don’t need it,” Clyde smiled again.

“I didn’t need to,” Rey replied. “You already proved it to yourself.” 

Clyde didn’t reply, the only sound being her puffs of breath as she walked, moving quickly like the New Yorker she was. He could just make out the sounds of car horns and sirens. He couldn’t wait to see her again. Speaking of…

“We’re still good for this weekend, right?” Clyde asked. Rey stared into the camera, eyebrow raised. Clyde chuckled. “Just checkin’. Love you. Can’t wait to see you.”

“I love you too,” Rey beamed.

~*~

Clyde hated flying. Even before the Army, he’d hated the idea of getting in a plane that could easily drop from the sky, dying in a fiery crash or drowning in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. 

He sucked it up, though, for Rey, because it was the fastest way to get to her, plus, he’d always managed to find cheap flights into JFK airport. Once he’d land, it was a matter of taking some public transportation into the city, and right into Rey’s arms.

Rey would greet him as she always did, opening the door to her apartment, throwing herself against his body, and peppering his face with kisses until their lips finally met, and he’d shuffle her back through the doorway, toe it shut, and strip her of every piece of clothing in his urgency to be inside of her.

This time was no different, as Rey flopped forward onto her stomach after Clyde had thoroughly railed her from behind.

“Fuck,” she cursed into her pillow, shoulders shaking a little in laughter. Clyde collapsed beside her, running his hands through his hair to comb it back. 

Once they’d caught their breath, Rey curled against Clyde’s side, draping a leg over his and aimlessly dragging her toes along his calf. 

“Hi,” Clyde said, as he always did. 

“Hello,” Rey replied, as she always did. 

This time, though, this time it actually would be different. 

“Hang on…” Clyde groaned as he leveraged himself up and out of the bed. He padded, naked, to his duffel, where he extracted the picture, careful to keep it as hidden as possible. Returning to the bed, they resumed their positions. “So, darlin’… I keep meaning to ask but always seem to forget… what does ‘tosser’ even mean?”

Rey laughed and laughed, remembering her words to him back at Duck Tape, months ago. “Oh, you know, it’s like another word for ‘wanker.’ Someone who’s annoying or a jerk.” 

“Huh… should’ve guessed that,” Clyde mused, before producing a copy of the photograph Bobbi Jo had emailed him. “Check this out…”

Rey took the picture carefully in her fingers, smiling instantly when she realized who the people were. 

“Oh my God… you are all so adorable,” she gushed, sitting up to afford a better view. “Look at you… and your ears.” Grinning, she reached out to brush his hair back, caressing one of the ears in question, laughing as it turned red. 

“Now, now…” Clyde chastised playfully as he batted her hand away. “You should look closer…” 

Rey takes the next two minutes to study the picture, and Clyde can see the gears working, practically see the steam wafting from her ears as she thought. He knew when realization dawned, as her eyes widened and her eyebrows nearly disappeared into her hairline.

“Clyde… Clyde, your mark,” she said, near breathless, as if she was holding it.

“Yep,” Clyde replied, popping the ‘p’ to be irritating in his nonchalance.

“Did… Were you able to magnify it to read it?” 

Judging by the tension in her shoulders, the anticipation was killing her. She knew the answer. Of course he would’ve investigated. If he’d been the one to find it, anyway.

“You can thank Sadie, actually,” Clyde spoke. “She found it in an old box of photos. I think she should be an investigator of some kind, to be honest.” 

Rey’s free hand swung out, hitting his shoulder and remaining there. “ _And_?” 

“Couldn’t make much of a sentence out of it. And I looked at it myself too, when I got it. But you can definitely make out the words ‘bloody,’ ‘tosser,’ and ‘alive.” 

The silence in the room was deafening, as a whole myriad of emotions crossed Rey’s face in the matter of a minute. The gears were really spinning now, as she recalled all the words she’d said to him upon meeting. It was Clyde’s turn to hold his breath, to anticipate what Rey would make of this. She’d so been adamant about making their own future, and he loved that. But this, this confirmation, made being with her all the sweeter. 

Her hand retracted from his shoulder, palm clamping over her mouth. Clyde watched as her eyes grew glassy, welling with tears.

“Oh, baby…” Clyde sat up, reaching for her, suddenly terrified this wouldn’t go like he imagined it would.

Rey shook her head furiously, fat droplets fell down her cheeks. She propelled herself forward, engulfing him in her embrace as she sobbed against his naked shoulder.

By God, Clyde held her. He held her as tightly as his one good arm and one bad arm could. 

“The nuns were wrong,” she heaved. “Those old bats were wrong.” 

“What on Earth are you talkin’ about?” 

“The orphanage. The one I spent a lot of time in. The nuns would tell me I’d never find my soulmate, because I didn’t deserve it. Since I was abandoned.” 

Clyde’s face grew stormy, never imagining he’d be pissed at religion. He plucked the picture from her hands, and held it close. “Darlin’, this is proof that ain’t true. I am your soulmate, and you are mine.”

“I know I talk a lot about giving fate the middle finger but… it’s nice to have the confirmation,” she couldn’t help but laugh as she sat up, legs folded under her. “Not that I needed the confirmation that you are the one for me, and that I love you.”

Clyde couldn’t remember a time when he’d felt so happy. He thought the peak had been reached when he finally met Rey. But this, this topped it all. 

As they fell against each other again and again that weekend, Clyde grew ever more convinced… 

The Logan Curse was broken.

**THE END**


End file.
